Can this be fixed?

Can this be fixed? We've been together for about a year and a half, so last weekend i brought up moving in at some point. Not necessarily now but maybe in the next year... i also asked if he saw a future together and he said he did. The moving in part though apparently scared him a bit. He had a rough ending with his son's mom (not married ever), so he's hesitant. Well i suggested a break from seeing each other this weekend. Maybe to get his head in the right place. Time apart. Though we agreed to keep in contact. Well it seems likes its only been me. So i decided to get away from everything and stay with my mom in an area where there's no service. So i let him knowi was going there and he told me to let him know i got there ok. So i called and left a message. This morning i went into town to grab a coffee and expected a message from him... nothing. so i called him and he text me saying he was working and hed call me later. I told him never mind and sorry id bothered him. He said he was glad i got up here safe and apologized for not responding. I feel like he's distant, pulled back and i asked him if it was over. He was taken a back by that question saying we are on a break (which apparently means , to him no communication not seeing each other) and he loves me, but he needs time to think. Now i feel I've ruined things. Im backing off completely and going to let him come to me. Is this ruined?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i think you are projecting your what you assumed he felt about you asking about moving in at some point into the future on to all his actions

    it sounds to me like he's been contacting you relatively normally and apologized when he didn't get back to you right away. I think you may feel a bit insecure since you put the moving in thing out there and you interpreted his response as negative but his actions don't sound like someone who needs a break at all

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    • Thank you... that was very helpful... especially coming from a guy. 😊

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What Guys Said 2

  • its not ruined but it is confused. you are in the stage of "commit or not" whic his confusing because he had prior issues and it appears you aren't clear thinking (emotionally) as well. John Gray, mars and venus on a date touches on this dating process.

    Why don't you pay some $ for a couselor to help. I say that because emotionally, you are all over the place... which can be normal for a confused time when you want to bond, but you aren't sure he does, and he doesn't connect... etc.. etc... so you are acting to protect yourself by pulling back

    ... so how can I trust you to behave in a measured way without someone guiding you? good GF's might help, but they have their own bias and lack of skills. I can see what's going on, and if you keep doing what you are doing, you will trash it! This is exactly the behavior he is concerned of... you already got a previously wounded guy from the guy pound (haha... e. g. dog pound)... and you want to beat it emotionally... not gonna work.

    The best path I see is to make sure the last communication is good... ok we are taking a brief brake to help you clear your thoughts, and lets talk and see where you are at at xyz day. Let him come to you in terms of interest in going forwards. something like that. may require several rounds of this. personally, I think you are in need of help and counseling or this is gonna blow up either before move in or shortly thereafter.

    people take their cars to the shop for maintenance, Dr. for broken body parts...

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  • so if he has sex with another girl right now, is that cheating? (Ross, Rachel)

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    • Weve discussed that... he says he doesn't want to be with or sleep with anyone else. Neither do I. We're still together just taking time apart for a week.

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    • In this case i doubt it... not that age matters when in comes to cheating, but i know my guy and he's been hurt plenty in his past relationships that he wouldn't do that to me.

    • never say never

What Girls Said 1

  • What made you suggest taking a break? Why take a break? You could've continued on your relationship the way it was and just giving him time to think about the moving in thing for as long as he needs. Unless this is a deal breaker for you that he doesn't want to move in right now I don't see a reason for the break.
    You clearly both want to be together. Perhaps he is distant because he thinks it's now or never for you?

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