So hard to lose feelings for someone you thought the world of. Anyone ever deal with this type of situation, how did it play out?

Its sop hard to lose feelings for someone you were great with and things were going good. Someone who you pictured and still picture growing old with. We broke up almost 2 months ago. When we got together things were amazing. We had so much in common ( same beliefs, wants etc) always up for a new adventure with each other. It was natural and felt real and i wasn't afraid. He was very loving anf I knew feelings were there. He fell into some stress and blocked everyone out for almost a good month. After that he told me he felt like we were not connecting and he wasn't feeling what he thought he should towards me. In reality before this happened he was loving saying I <3 you ( not love) etc we were planning getting passports and possible trips, summer things, beach trips everything and then one day this happend. I was devestated and still am upset. Since the bu he has been in contact with me first we talk a lot during the week. Things go well we joke and just talk. Since bu we had sex 3x and i know its bad because when i see him we have sex. Something i dont want to just do anymore because I dont want just that with him, to go from relationship to this. Next time I see him I am going to ask him what we are doing and tell him my feelings. I dont get how one day everything is great and he's expressing feelings toward me then to flash forward and have him say that and break up. I feel in my heart there are still feelings there but I don't know. He is still stressed but now has a job- well now 3 jobs so is always usually busy which is good and bad. He told his bff and a mutual friend of mine that he needed to get his life in order before he can take care of someone else. Like i said I feel there's feelings still there but my head is just spinning. I guess I will never know until we talk and he straight up tells me nothing will ever be again or something. Has anyone ever experienced this? if so how did it play out/


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  • It sucks being broken hearted :(
    It also sucks to care about someone so deeply and want so much from them and have that with them but go from all that to casual sex. With all those feelings there I don't suggest doing that as it won't help you any.
    Perhaps he got freaked out by how fast things have been moving and needed to take a breather? Is he the type to manage down your expectations and slowly move you into a more casual type of relationship?
    How long were you dating for?
    I would maybe speak with him and ask where his head is at regarding your relationship. Set boundaries for yourself so you don't further hurt yourself, in the off chance he doesn't want a relationship again
    Hugs to you!!!

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    • I don't think he is that type of person. He is a very kind hearted guy. I was initially afraid to get into a relationship with him but it was reassured by a lot of people that he was a good guy. he even told me he wouldn't hurt me. But things change I guess. He had told me once that he tried dating someone and they turned him down because he was too nice!!. Anyway, One of our mutual friends also told me his other relationship when they broke up he also was nt sure what he was doing with his life maybe its a pattern I don't know but I know they fought a lot. He has only had 3 gf's with me. He is not that type of guy to go out looking for someone or even really have that type of initiation. He is very reserved in the way where he is I almost want to say hermit. He goes out, but spends a lot of time at home, but we did go out a lot as a couple. We were only together for 3 months , but within that 3 months it was amazing like I said we talked about doing a lot this summer

    • Within that time I met a lot of his family and he met mine. I met cousins and aunts , Mom , dad etc They all approved of me and I went to family functions as well so it really was going good. We both had the same wants and likes etc. It just still blows mty mind that things were good and then all of a sudden after all this nothing. I didn't think he is that type pf person to just use me for casual sex either, since he isn't like that. When I went/go over his house I wind up staying the night. Its not like those type of nights where you go over have sex and leave. Thats not it. I spend the night sleep next to his, sometimes cuddle etc and then the next morning he tries to hug me. Someone says maybe he is confused but I guess I just really need to flat out tell him how I still feel and see where he stands. So sorry that this is so long tried to get out a lot since its so confusing.

  • Leave him alone and move on as best as you can. If it's meant to be, he'll come back to you

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