Earlier this year, I cheated on my then girlfriend with my best friend. I'm not making excuses for it. It was a horrible thing to do. She had given me another chance but a couple things were made clear by her.
1. She was never going to love me again like she used to.
2. She refused to be in a relationship with me if I continued to talk to my best friend.
Both these things are understandable, I dare say I would carry the same mindsets if I were cheated on. But I really wasn't going to stop talking to my best friend whom I've been there for and who's been there for me through all kinds of crap. She gave me a choice and I chose my best friend. She was devastated and left me, apparently crying herself to sleep that night.
After this happened a question started to form. Was I unreasonable? I am not blaming her for anything in this situation. After all, she was simply enforcing her lack of trust which, if I'm honest with myself, I deserved. But am I a terrible person that my feelings of closeness for my friend were greater than those for my now ex in this situation? Was I wrong for choosing the person I cared about more even if I betrayed the other? Did I owe her anything?
Most Helpful Girl
If she's said she doesn't trust you then you shouldn't go back into a relationship with her. Obviously she has every right not to trust you, but attempting another shot at it without trust will put you both on an emotional roller coaster you won't enjoy.
The ultimatum seems fair, she would obviously be very insecure with you continuing contact with this friend of yours, however there is a reason all this has happened, what was missing from your relationship that made you feel the need to do this? Is it a relationship you even want to get back in to?
Sounds like you have made up your mind already by choosing not to evict this friend from your life, so maybe the relationship just wasn't right for you. You're not a terrible person for feeling something for someone else, but you made the mistake of not being honest before it happened and now there is hurt feelings involved.0