Did he just ask me to marry him?

I was talking with my boyfriend yesterday and I announced him that I have to do a 1 year and half internship in a foreign country (haven't selected where yet). He is from South America and he is gonna graduate during the time I'm gone (I actually counted and he will still be here when I come back) so he will/might be gone home by then. Yesterday, it was the first time in our month and a half of dating (I know, pretty short) that we had a serious conversation about future plans, like marriage. He asked me first if I loved him (I kinda panicked because "love" is a big word) and then if I wanted to stay with him "forever". I replied that I did. He asked me these 2 questions at least 3 or 4 times. I replied positively to each of them. At one point, he said "but you're leaving". There, I got confused. Yes, I'm leaving but I will be back before he leaves for home and then I'll be able to stay with him. I'm kind of confused about all of that. First, because it's quite early in our relationship to talk about such serious plans (even though we both want the same thing); second, I am not leaving on an internship forever and I will be back. It seems like he sees this as too big of an obstacle to stay with me on the long term.
We weren't able to finish our conversation because my roommates were there and it wasn't really the right moment to talk about that.
What do you guys think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's trying to see if he should dump you or stay with you.

    Seems like he doesn't want to wait for you only for you to break up.


Most Helpful Girl

  • That's definitely not asking you to marry him...

    Look, he clearly likes you and is trying to gauge how serious you are about him. It's fine to think "wow I like this person a lot. Maybe this could be someone I want to spend my life with" but anything close to engagement or marriage this early would be a HUGE red flag to me. You don't know somebody well enough after only a month and a half. You don't know somebody well enough after a year and a half. It's normal to wonder and think about it and fantasize but serious marriage talk should not be in the room, much less on the table at this point.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Not a proposal just talking about the Future

  • I guess he is pretty positive he sees a future with you but doesn't want anything to come between you by going away so he just wants to know you'll still be back for him

    • I will. Because that's what I want right now, at least. I don't know about him, though. See, I have a hard trusting people, especially guys I'm dating because I have been left in miserable ways before. He definitely is different and more serious than those guys, but I'm still afraid that he would be tired of waiting for me and move on and leave me for another girl. I definitely want to be with him but I'm scared of the commitment because I am not sure he will stick to it. I know I will; unless I become dumb and irresponsible and end up changing my mind.

    • Show All
    • I see... I'm still being careful, though. He hasn't given me reasons not to trust him at all (except disappearing for an entire day and not saying anything until 8pm, but that's a different story, haha) and I'm still scared. We only have 1 month left together and I feel like it's still too short to make a decision.

    • Just go with your gut, there is no sure way

What Girls Said 1

  • No, I wouldn't take that as a proposal.
    I've had similar conversations with my boyfriend. A few times where I was the one asking the same questions as your guy did. I never meant them as a proposal. It was more just a way in which I was trying to gauge how he saw our future, and if we were both on the same page.