Why people stay in unhealthy relationships?

It has bee a shocking year of on and off, dramas, arguments and fights, verbal and even physical abuse. I coped until I broke. it is over now, and I can breath and go back to being happy on my own as I was before i met my ex. He lied for majority of the time he was with me, when the truth came out I was well deep in love with him. He begged to forgive him and explained the circumstances. I cried a lot and got very depressed. He insisted on us doing counselling, I agreed as I had no idea how to handle the situation on my own. Counselling helped, mostly me, to release the what he has done was something that not everyone would be prepared to forgive and get over. I have managed just - with lots of fights, tears, suicidal thoughts and outraging behavior that I am not proud of. i fell so low that i tried to kill myself few times in front of him and scarred both of us to death... then on one other occasion i damaged his car - scratched LAIR on one of the doors... i admitted my deeds and paid for it to be fixed... when i am without him i can be my normal self - smiling, busy with own things, seeing friends and doing my job... when he is around it is always a drama out of nothing... i moved few times as he disliked my housemates... I did it for us and ended up blaming him for his rude behavior towards people... I am lucky enough my friend haven;t turned away from me after all that they have heard about the way he treated me... they don't want to see him any more... He broke up with me dozens of times but crawled back pretty much immediately... whilst still in shock of just yet another excuse for his behavior I would make up with him and try to be reasonable and explain to myself that he was going through a lot and it was not easy on anyone... He said every time he came back because he loved me and hoped things would get better... they got worse... I stopped tolerating his bull shit and this fueled the fire even more... I have become a complete opposite of what I want to be


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because, on some level they get addicted to the pain. The abuse is also so gradual that their boundaries stretch just enough to leave room for just a little more abuse every time. They become blinded and brainwashed. They start thinking they don't deserve better. They start thinking that this is their only shot at love. They become too comfortable with the person they're with and start justifying their behavior because they're scared of being alone and too dependent on their abuser.
    I'm assuming this is why you didn't leave.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Because they don't know how to end it. One person doesn't want it to end, and the other does.

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  • because you are stupid, or in love, my bet is that you're 100% stupid

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What Girls Said 2

  • Because they're scared idiots.

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  • Because It is made by them. They made it unhealthy

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