Have you ever dated anyone who has become famous? How to even begin getting over them?

I was with this guy who hurt me in a really cruel way. He was my friend for a long time and after we started sleeping together he started to ignore me and saw me less and less frequently. I really fell for him. I always knew he would be successful, he's always been passionate about what he did. I truly loved him, as a friend as a lover as a person. He turned out to be a horrible individual. I'm 20% happy for him 80% wishing he wasn't doing so well. It hurts so bad I don't know if I'll ever get over it. It sucks that someone can use another person in such a messed up way and then go on to be so successful in life. I don't know if I'm heartbroken or just plain mad at this point.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not quite the same thing but I discovered a few years ago that a girl I dated as a teenager is now a well known restaurant critic in New York City who regularly writes for the city's biggest newspaper. Which I found ironic because our first date together resulted in us nearly being thrown out of the restaurant because of how much of a bitch she was to the staff.

    I got a little resentful when I found out because the circumstances behind our breakup revolves around her having lied to me about a lot of things and cheating on me, so I didn't feel she deserved to be living this happy successful life (did I mention she's also married to a millionaire?) but I got over it quickly. That was almost 20 years ago after all.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My situation is slightly different, but still kind of related... so I've never dated, but my Senior year of high school I had feelings for this guy that had played soccer all his life, and last I heard is trying to play professionally.
    We'd been friends for a while, and though he never admitted it, I know he liked me (and my self esteem is shit, so I promise I'm not "tooting my own horn"). Eventually, I started to feel the same. So after a few months I told him how I felt, and he turned me down saying "he did think I was pretty, but he didn't want to date anymore in high school because some other girl screwed him over the year before and he wasn't over her yet" or some crap. So anyway he acted cool w/ my "confession" or whatever for about a day, then started ignoring/avoiding me. Literally going out of his way to not be around me. Yet I tried to talk to him about it, he insisted *I* was the one making it awkward. Ok.
    We had to work on a Senior art show together (us and like, 5 other people) so for months he acted like everything was cool. But as soon as the show was done and over, he basically went back to ignoring/avoiding me harder than ever... but I'm under the impression that we're cool.
    So I decided to ask him again why he was acting like that and ended up blowing up at me in front of some of his little friends, telling me "Can I say something? I'm not trying to be mean, but you're not in my world!" And some other hurtful stuff including accusing me of being a liar about some things I won't get into here.
    Anyway, it's been over 3 years and I'm not going to lie, I'm not over it b/c to this day I don't know what I did to deserve to be treated like that. I can never forgive someone who had me getting out of classes for an entire day so I could go to the bathroom to bawl my eyes out. He unfriended/ blocked me on social media and everything, so I have no clue what he's doing now and I don't give a damn. But let's just say, even though I already could care less about soccer, I will never, ever watch a soccer game w/ USA playing in it just in case his little soccer dream actually comes true.

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    • But I always tell myself, what goes around comes around.

    • aw, please forget that jerk! At least you didn't sleep with him! There's all kinds of complications arising when you sleep with someone. You feel super conflicted, it's kind of impossible to hate them. At least he didn't give you any happy memories, so it should be easier to move on... He just didn't know how to adequately deal with the situation. He probably liked you once, but then realised that he doesn't want to date you and didn't know how to let you down gently. A lot of people find themselves in this situation. trust me, he didn't mean to hurt you and he probably felt really bad about it. You just should move on and find someone who will like you for real as cliche as that sounds :)

What Guys Said 3

  • no i have never dated anyone famous. but going on to your other question. people changing is normal in life. what was important when you were 18 is no longer important in your late 20 or 30's. just like your friend his life took a big change and now you are the one who saw the old him and the new life he has. its always hard to be the one left behind and there is no easy way to pick up the pieces and try to move on. look at it this way , most famous people have a hard time in relationships do to the line of work and being in the public eye. so there is a good chance your not the last to be in that situation with him. my only suggestion is to move on, find someone who truly love you and treats you as the special someone you are.

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  • No. And at this age, I'm not sure I would want to. Even if the famous person is actually very grounded and down to earth, I'm not sure I'd want the attention of paparazzi or anyone else that comes from being famous.

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  • i dunno. avril lavigne songs

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What Girls Said 9

  • Not really famous but he was doing well with his buisness. I really liked him and he dumped me in the most awful way. I definitely felt used, especially when he went on with his life (and being successful at what he was doing) like nothing happened while my world was falling apart at that point, you know what it's like to be dumped, it's devastating. I can relate to what you are going through but even though the guy you're talking about is successful and doing well it won't change the fact that he's an horrible invidual. I don't know about you but I would rather be with someone whose a nice person rather than a jerk, successful or not. I don't know how fresch your wound is but it's gonna get easier you just have to bite through this, and you will. Focus on yourself now and how you can be successful in whatever way you like. Be glad he's gone because his actions revealed his true colors and there is someone else out there for you who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Never settle for less. I can tell you that when he dumped me (the guy I was with) I hit rock bottom only to realize that this was a wake up call for me rise taller than before. I climbed my way up in every part of my life and I am happy that I have gotten so far.. This isn't about me though it's about you but I hope you get my point. You're a strong independent woman, you'll get through this!

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  • It's a process getting over someone who hurt you. Part of you wishes it didn't happen, that he fell for you like you fell for him, and part of you curses him for how he used you. It will take time for the second part of that feeling to take over and help you move on and find someone who treats you well. When you find that person who treats you well, you will be healed. I would say the best way is to distract yourself and keep yourself busy. Channel that energy into something else, like exercise or your schoolwork. Time also heals. If you need a cry, let yourself. You're just a person. But always remind yourself of your worth. The problem isn't with you, it's with him. You didn't deserve that.

    Also, remember... fame isn't all it's made out to be. People seek it for money and power and showcasing talent. But they forget It comes with millions of people ready to rip you apart. They dissect your every mistake. Bad personalities are revealed and shamed on a grand scale. He loses privacy. His relationships will probably always suffer.

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    • thanks for your response. no, I'd say he's thoroughly enjoying it... He got what he always wanted. He's not worldwide famous, but he's got a lot of success for someone his age. I just wish I could tell all those people who are praising him what a douchebag he actually is.

    • Someone can win the lottery one day and lose someone they love the next day. Life doesn't have a set rule where finding success means eternal heaven. He will have his battles too. Hopefully in time, people will see what kinda person he is. People are smart, they catch on. Fans don't need to know much. They use entertainers to cheer them up. In the meanwhile, I think what will help you is to work on your own happiness and success and health. Heal your heart and mind. You don't need to be successful on on public scale to have a good life. I'm actually happy for you a douchey person revealed himself to you before things got too serious. You deserve better.

  • My ex who I thought was the love of my life and we dated 2-2.5 years now owns a tech startup company and pretty famous to people who are interested in that area. But I do not feel anything towards him. I am happy he is happy that's it. He is an old good memory for me now, and him doing well or terrible is none of my business any more. You have to forgive yourself and himsel for what happened and start focusing on your self-development. Also, you need to reduce the number of people around you who talk about him, and you need to stop using your social media or stop following him like crazy for the updates in his life. Then you can get over it.

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  • Never and I don't want to. Nothing is ever private with them, scandals and paparazzis galore.

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  • i didn't date them but my best friend became famous and she threw me away afterwards. we were friends since we were 5 and two years ago she debuted as a idol in Korea. I'm still not over it.

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  • no i have never dated anyone famous.

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  • Well if he's that famous and you're still so upset by it, then write a tell all book.

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    • hahaha, he's not thaaat famous. and i'm not that desperate or hung up on him to spend months on a tell all book. :D

  • Can you tell me who he is? I'm curious lol and do you still talk to him?

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  • I know this isn't answering your question, but how did he behave towards you before you slept with him... was there anything that could have pre warned you that he would act this way?

    I am sort of dating a guy who may or may not have been a player... atm he's nothing but nice but Im worried that all the nîce things he says/does are just to get me into bed.

    Are there any particular red flags that you suggest I should look out for?

    Again, I know this isn't an answer to your question but I'd be grateful if you had any advice

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    • hey, I was purely friends with him for years before anything happened between us. Yes, there were red flags, many of them, which you should never ignore. He used to have stupid mood swings and acted like the whole world was supposed to understand him. On the other hand he would say he had depression and that he knew he was acting like a dick and he's apologise for things he did.

      What I've learned is that you need to establish communication before you sleep with someone! If communication is bad now, it won't get better. You wouldn't be asking me this question if you didn't feel something was off. You need to recognise that there are no particular red flags, each case is unique, but if what he does feels wrong or off, then it probably is. You should always confront him about things that you aren't happy with (I don't mean petty little things, you shouldn't give him an excuse to call you psycho) My biggest regret is not standing up for myself earlier. Never let him mistreat you.

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    • no, don't get involved! you're most likely not the only one he talks to and he sounds like he doesn't really know what he wants. if there isn't enough in common keeping you together than it's not even worth it. don't force what isn't working. his messages would probably get even more infrequent if you two slept together... it's usually really obvious when two people click, it doesn't sound like you two do.

    • yeahh... sadly I agree :'((

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