Do I still love my boyfriend?

My boyfriend and I have been dating about a year and a half. During that time, we have never had a single argument. He treats me like a queen and is everything I want in a guy. Only problem? I want to be with someone else, a girl to be exact. He was perfectly happy to let me and my crush become friends with benefits and I honestly thought that would help me get over her. instead, it helped me see things I had been ignoring with my rose tinted glasses. I had doubts if I really liked him from the start, and now the butterflies are long gone. I don't even notice when I don't hear from him, while before I could barely survive without a text. I don't miss him when he doesn't show up somewhere, and I don't get jealous anymore when he talks about other girls. In fact, I get excited, hoping he'll take interest in one of them. I still care deeply about him, but not a romantic way. Without realizing it, I've started to see him as a best friend, or a brother even. I have been far too afraid to call it off for many reasons, why call off a perfectly good relationship for no good reason? What if I regret it? A small part of me still feels I like him. Will he ever forgive me and will we still be friends? His friends told me not to screw this up or he may kill himself. I feel trapped in this relationship, but I can't bare to break up with him. What do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • sounds like you love him as a person but are not in love with him.

    so i think you should break up with him. it's only fair to you and especially him. i mean it's worse to be with someone you don't especially want to be with only because you don't want to break up with him

    it sounds like you may be a lesbian (or bisexual) so you could just explain that to him.

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    • Yeah, that was sorta what I was thinking. I have told him I'm bi, but now I am starting to wonder if I actually am a lesbian. I will talk to him. Thank you so much for your help. It really means a lot.

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    • That is true. By me staying with him, I'm keeping him from someone who could truly love him in a way I can't.

    • exactly. very well said. you both deserve to be with people who love you completely. so while a break up may be painful ultimately it is best for both of you... or at least it sounds that way

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What Guys Said 2

  • "Why call off a perfectly good relationship for no good reason?" You don't want to be with him, so why would you call this a perfectly good relationship? If you are seriously afraid that he will kill himself (that is almost always a manipulative threat a, d not a real likelihood,) go to his house, break up with him when his parents are at home, and tell the parents what his friends told you. You don't need to explain why you are breaking up with him. It is their job to protect him, not your job.

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    • I suppose since we''ve both gotten along so well, it makes it extremely painful for me to hurt him. If my feelings had not ruined it, it would be a perfectly good relationship. Alright. I will remember that. Thank you for your help.

    • What you have may be a perfectly good friendship. Unfortunately, it is difficult to maintain a friendship after a breakup. That is why it is better to get into a relationship slowly, to make sure it is what you want, because not many relationships can go backwards once it becomes a romantic involvement.

    • In all honesty, I do remember feeling we rushed into it. I remember regretting not staying in the early stages longer. Yes, that's what i'm afraid of. He's told me he'd support whatever I chose in the end, and to this point I always forced myself to choose him. But thank you for your advice. I will try to salvage what I can.

  • yes you still do love him

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What Girls Said 2

  • If you have to ask the question then the answer is yes.

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  • If you're cheating on him or considering to do so then there's no way in hell you love him. Let him be with someone better.

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    • I would never cheat! He told me to spend time with my crush. But you're right, he deserves someone better. I can't emotionally give him the attention he deserves. Thanks for your input.

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