I dumped my boyfriend because I think he's heartless and inconsiderate, did I make a mistake?

My aunt passed away a few days ago and i got so depressed and sad but my boyfriend was so cold about it, i texted him so many times that i really need him and he's the only person i wanna be with right now to feel a little better... he only responded to the news of my aunts death with a few words and didn't really try to provide me with any consolation.
these past few days were the times when i needed him the most, but he abandoned me so i left him... was this a wrong decision to make?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It depends. We'd have to know your boyfriend to answer this. Everyone reacts differently to death. Some don't know how to handle it or what to say/do. It's very possible he didn't mean to be "heartless and inconsiderate", he simply just didn't know what to say or do and feels really uncomfortable. On the other hand, maybe he really was being heartless and inconsiderate because he doesn't care? Only you can answer this though because you know him. You may have felt "abandoned" but maybe wasn't the intent? He might have been just giving you space/time (but you did say you needed him so maybe not?)? If it was truly inconsiderate then of course you did the right thing and don't second guess it. You are just hurting twice, your aunt and now your breakup. You need a boyfriend that is going to be there for you though.

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    • thank you so much for your comment!

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's possible that he simply didn't know how to respond to a death. Some people have a really hard time understanding how to handle situations that involve a death, and that can make them seem colder than they really are. However, I think you probably made the right decision. Someone who won't try to console you when a family member dies isn't showing themselves to be a supportive, emotionally available partner.

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What Guys Said 9

  • NO, you made the right choice. He was being a giant d*ck to you by not giving you comfort when you needed it, and now he's paying the price for it.

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  • You made a good call, the right decision. 👍
    Couldn't have made a better choice.

    Stay well and blessed be your dearest aunt.

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  • There are no wrong decisions.

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  • I am sorry that you lost your aunt and no it was not

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  • You did the right thing, you need a partner that supports you when times get tough.

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  • Dem badboy gina tingles.

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  • I can tell you this is the wrong decision. You seem young. He must be too. Also some people don't know how to respond. I know I don't when shit like this happens it's awkward and it means he has to get in touch with his feelings which he isn't comfortable with

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  • Yes.

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  • kinda

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    • how?

    • seems like a superficial reason to break up

What Girls Said 12

  • I think if I were you I would have felt really hurt that he would not try to make me feel better and I would have stopped talking to him and see if he would come around and apologize. I would have to see how he behaves but honestly I would have probably ended up breaking up with him because who needs that shit? Nobody. You should be able to depend on someone in good times in bad. Good call, girl ❤

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  • I think you made the right choice. I'm not a touchy feely person, but when someone just died I always comfort the person

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  • he sounds disrespectful... you were right to dump him

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  • If you felt that he was being inconsiderate of your feelings and that was a deal breaker for you, then you did the right thing. I don't think it really matters what anyone else thinks though. It only matters how YOU feel.

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  • Yes you did the right thing. If your gut tells you he is being cold and inconsiderate then that's probably the truth. Plus actions speak louder then words and his actions clearly portrayed what's in his heart. And I'm sorry for your loss.

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  • No he obviously doesn't really care. My ex husband was like that when I told him about my dead cousin, all he could say is " Uh I'm going to go out now ". It may hurt now but you made the right choice

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  • Although i do think you need to handle stuff on your own, without anyone, its nice to have ur lover there.

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  • No you made the right choice! If he's not there for you emotionally in tough times it's good you got out before things got more serious!

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  • Nah, I think you took the right choice.

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  • Yeah toss that fucker

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  • one day you will have children, you might be sick, your kids might be sick, etc...
    if he is not there for you now
    what will life be like for other times of difficulty?

    what do you think?

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  • Nope, sounds like you made the right decision. You want someone with a little compassion I think.

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