Ex Boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me out of the blue due to commitment scares - help?

My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me last night out of the blue. We got together when we were 18. He said he's really happy, that we are perfect together/ Im the perfect girl for him, but because he's so immature he's scared of commitment and doesn't want anything serious at our age, and wants to grow up so that he can be more mature in his next relationship. He knows he has been a bit of a crappy boyfriend to me (I also told him this a few weeks ago, as we were in long distance and I was amkign all the effort - however we talked about this and sorted this issue out)

I fought so hard for us and I feel so stupid for crynig and trying so so hard to keep us together. It happened before last year where he was scared of commitment at our age, but after 3 months we got back together as he said he missed me. I left the conversation yesterday by saying "I hope you mature and find what your looking for and hopefully we'll be together again one day". He said he needs space for more than 3 months this time, and I intend to give him that.

Part of the problem was also his mum - his mum met his dad when she was 18, they got married at 22m= and then got divorced. He said he had spoken to his parents about this before he did it, and that his mum thought it was a good idea for him to grow up and become more mature, and that as we were both starting new jobs it was a good time to. The fact that he said a week before that we were perfect together and that im the 'one for him' I think freaked him out a little too... realising how young we were and saying this already to each other.

The distance has never been a problem - we are both independent and actually stayed together for a year whilst he was aborad in singapore.

Im going to give him time and space - he is going travelling for 7 weeks and then starting a new job, a nd I am startig a new job too. Am going to try and become the best person i can be and become myself in that time, and try contact after 5/6 months. Thoughts?


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What Guys Said 2

  • My suggestion would be to move on and find someone else.
    You have invested a lot in that relationship and the return on that investment has been disappointment and heartbreak.
    Move on. You deserve better.

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    • Thanks - Yeah thats very true. I think the fact that he horribly said we were perfect together e. t. c makes me hopeful, which is very unfair.

      However at the same time I want him to regret it and come back just so I can tell him where to go, and have the upper hand (I know that sounds horrible)

  • Well, that sucks.

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