Day 16 still no contact... Thoughts?

My Boyfriend started pushing me away after 5 years. We were looking at buying. Then he found out he might get made redundant in a job he loves and he switched on me... It all kicked off on a phone call and we broke up, he ignored me for two weeks. Said he didn't know if he felt the same way anymore and wouldn't explain it, just felt his feelings had changed. I was the one to say should we break up and he just kept saying "I don't know" so I said he clearly needed space to think about what he wanted etc as he didn't want to do a break, but what was we supposed to do. went to his house as his parents were emailing me and he was shutting everyone off not speaking and hibernating. When i went to his house, he kept saying his head was clear but he wouldn't look at me in the eye without eyes watering, he looked sad. He said he was really happy and he only has to worry about himself. Just kept saying about his job and how important it is to him. He is away for work a lot and the result of the redundancy means he will be away a lot more now. He knows him being away a lot upsets me sometimes.
When I asked if we was broken up he just kept saying "he didn't know" and he felt nothing and was hoping to snap out of it and he wasn't. He said it was "nice a girl is trying, but I feel nothing". :-/ he was just starring out the window clenching his fists. He said he hadn't thought about me at all, but later said he was worried my parents would be angry. He went out and got himself a new playstation and dvds that day, and said as long as he had those he would be happy. Said he never wants to be home anymore, he just wants to be away with work and alone and isn't sure at what point he turned into a loner.
Two days later, on the Monday, I apologized for a comment I made when I was upset and left his house, I told him I would leave him alone and to let me know if he wants to chat to let me know.
16 days in to no contact and nothing. Am I doing the right thing leaving him alone?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You need to give him his space, but you also need to put some kind of a clock on it so that he knows he can't take FOREVER to figure his situation out. in my opinion, give him 60 days (44 more) to get his head straight, and tell him that if he hasn't figured it out within 60 days, and hasn't been able to give you a GOOD reason why he needs a bit more time, then you will consider your relationship with him to be over and will move on with your life.

    This gives him 6 more weeks without any pressure from you to get himself thinking straight, but also ensures that you don't waste many months or years of your life in limbo if he's not going to be able to make a decision. It's fair for both of you - he gets a chance and a more-than-reasonable amount of time, but you also have some light at the end of the tunnel one way or the other.

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    • Yeah. Well our 5 year anniversary is supposed to be next Friday. Mot going to happen now is it! Xx

    • * Not

What Girls Said 2

  • If you really feel For this guy give him a few more weeks. I'd say a month for him to come to terms with whatever is going on in his head. If after a month and still nothing then you need to let go. It's hard but he can't push you away over nothing. He needs to get over this lonely time and realise he's hurting people around him including you. Like I say 4 weeks then I'd ask if you could go somewhere and grab a coffee and just ask him where you stand an something like you still love him as want to be there with him but he needs to let you know how he feels because it's not healthy for him to string you on like this x

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    • I think he prob just thinks we are over and it's easier mow, I have no idea. Leaving him alone I was hoping would make him think he missed me but to be honest I just feel like he has forgotten me. Me trying to get him to speak to me didn't work so this was my only option left xx

  • Sugar mama

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