Boyfriend in love with his ex-girlfriend?

Hello community!

My boyfriend and I are a fresh couple of 3 weeks. (17 & 18)
Before he met me, he loved this one girl a lot, and they wanted to be together. This girl had a boyfriend at the time, which she broke up with for my boyfriend, but when he asked her to be in a relationship, she declined.

He was very depressed and had a hard time forgetting her. Then he met me, and we hit it off really well.

Sometimes he mentions her, but I thought, they cut things off for good, and I wouldn't have to worry,
if he's still in love with her.

Today thought, he told me, he's meeting up with her, to go to the hospital together.
(Both have to do some check up's, so they had the brilliant idea, to do them together. I'm not sure,
why he hadn't asked me to accompany him.)

I was a little insecure by them, because he hadn't told me, that they still are in contact.
I asked him, if he got a crush on her, and he answered with: "Yes, I have feelings for her, but I know, that a relationship with her would be bad for me."

I wasn't so sure, what to say, so I said, that I don't want to be hurt.
He told me, he wouldn't hurt me.

He was sitting on the bed, and I was behind him, and I saw, that this girl canceled the hospital trip, and as he was scrolling through their messages, I saw how that they text hearts and kisses back and forth.

I'm kind of hurt, and very insecure. I'm afraid of him loving this girl. I couldn't live with that.
My question is, do you think, with your objective perspective, that my reason to be insecure is reasonable?

Sidenote: He is kinda friends with another ex too.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Always go with your gut feeling and especially if you're seeing red flags everywhere. He scheduled a hospital date? That's new and just because he said a relationship wit her would be bad doesn't mean he still wouldn't do it. Then you see his emotions after she cancelled, he clearly wasn't looking forward to a checkup but more to see her. So in my opinion I would distant myself. Breakup if you need to and have no contact with him. You know that saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone" well let him realize that. And if he does come back and you give him a second chance take it slow and you be in control.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is not insecurity on your part. This is just him. There is nothing wrong with loving a person. Your supposed to have love in general for anybody, even for somebody you hate. But the fact that he can't let go of his ex is a problem. My suggestion is that you do either two things: Either talk to him and let him know that he can't be with you and he still has feelings for his ex, or just let him go. I say never date somebody who has not move on from their ex's. That means photos, videos, things, clothes, etc. They have to throw them out. If they keep any of these things, they have NOT moved on. Nothing wrong with being friends as you must learn to be civil. But if their text's suggest something else entirely, move on! And if you can't handle it, move on! Don't stay if you can't deal with something like not, and you shouldn't have to be forced too!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I'm sorry, but at least when he leaves you, you'll know the reason. Smh

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  • I dont think its gonna work out if your boyfriend is still in love with his ex.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Yeah I'd be upet with that! Hearts and kisses being texted is flirty. I wouldn't have that I would not want to be in a relationship with a guy who was still into another girl. Especially if they are trying to hang out it whatever without you. Nothing wrong with being friends but he straight up told you he had feelings for her

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  • I was recently in the exact same position. And I know how much it hurts...
    The thing is, if he's not down for you and only you, you've got to respect and love yourself enough to let him go.
    You'll meet somebody who's down for you and you only instead.

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  • Are you sure that you're dating him? I know that sounds stupid but it just doesn't sound like he is aware that you two are exclusive... but honestly if I were you I would run for the hills. It sounds like a very complicated situation, one in which I can't see any conclusion where you wouldn't end up getting hurt. Personally, I would break it off ASAP. Stay strong OP! ❤️

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  • ya this is no good. He isn't emotionally ready for you. I'd end it

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