Should this guy leave his wife or just live in misery?

Long story short... I am friends with a couple in their 40s. She doesn't want sex anymore nor does she want to go to the doctor and get some help. All she does is bitch at him. I told her if she doesn't do anything about her marriage... he could decide to leave her when their daughter leaves for school. This is a very good looking man. But she won't even acknowledge that he is. She won't even sleep in the same bed as him. I have a feeling he will get a girlfriend or leave her. On top of that... she thinks I am a freak because I still enjoy sex.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He absolutely should. Suggest that to him. He deserves better.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • that's sad to hear... i thought the wife will do something to save their intimacy but she won't... well it won't be a surprise if they end their relationship

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What Guys Said 12

  • Maybe if their kids have left the house.

    I have some married friends (both male and female) who seem to be down to these two options. Something along the way in their marriage drained all the passion out of it and even a great deal of affection, leaving the two together only out of some sense of duty or comfort.

    Trouble in my case is that most of these friends still have kids who haven't left the house (ex: in their early teens). In those cases I'd rather see them stay together until the kids have at least gone their own way.

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    • I think that is the main reason he stays. His oldest daughter got married and has moved out of the house. The other is a teenager. She will be going off to college soon. I think that is when he will do something.

  • I would have left a long time ago.

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  • She's entitled to her opinion, he's entitled to his choices, you are entitled to the way you feel & think, we all are entitled to loving sex & what we like.

    In this case I'd let them be and decide for themselves :)

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    • Do you think I am deciding for them? She came to me... and talked to me about this. I am not butting in.

    • OMG lol I didn't even remotely imply that you stuck your nose in :) Please know that any and every statement I give here is never judgmental nor telling someone what to do and what not :)

      All I meant here was merely in a third party reference where unfortunately one has to use 'you' and 'I' owing to the context.

      My apologies for this but I didn't imply anything personal. You have a great weekend :)

  • This story is more common than you may think.
    A couple of years ago I read a news report about a survey which found that 25 per cent of marriages were without sex and another 25 per cent had little sex (average once per month).
    Men are trapped, because of the way that divorce law has been rewritten to hand everything to the woman.
    If a man leaves, he will end up homeless, on a park bench or in a men's shelter, and facing the real prospect of being dragged away in chains to the modern version of debtors' prison because he was unable, or unwilling, to pay spousal support and/or child support, both of which are set by courts without any reference to the reality of the man's income.
    More than one such man has been shot dead by the police who were sent to take him to debtors' prison.
    The career path is: married -> divorced -> homeless -> dead.

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    • Well it is a little bit better in the US. I am divorced and my ex is just fine. So am I. I feel bad for this guy. Actually he is a really hot guy. I told her she was crazy for not sleeping with him.

  • Neither will leave until they're miserable enough

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  • What doctor help?

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  • wow what a weird woman.

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  • He will leave her.

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    • This gal made a comment that she thinks I ought to take my friend... against her will to the doctor. Is that not nuts?

    • Rissyanne that's insane.

  • If he is unhappy he should leave.

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  • I think my parents had no sex in the last 10 years, that's not that big of a deal.

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  • Poor kids these days

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What Girls Said 6

  • She probably has no interest in sex anymore. Which is a shame, sex leads to intimacy and intimacy is great to have in a relationship.

    He would leave her when he feels like it's the right time. There is probably a good chance he is already seeking another woman who's interested in what his searching for. But that won't happen till the daughter goes off to school

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  • I personally think it depends. Let's say she has an illness that she is developing and it's causing this behavior and the husband leaves then he might feel really guilty. How old is the daughter? If she's a newborn-high school then it might affect her. If she's in college or is about to start college then she could handle it better. If she can't sleep on the same bed as the husband then there are 4 times (these are my guesses) 1. Something is wrong with her 2. She might have trust issues (did he cheat?) 3. She likes someone else and is slowly loosing interest. 4. She's on her period (if she hasn't started or has menopause). Haha joking on number 4. Number 4 I seriously am guessing that she's jealous about something. If she doesn't have anything wrong with her and has always been like this then one could consider them leaving each other.

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  • The thing is I think women who are at that point need to acknowledge that a man (or if the genders were revesered, a woman) needs that intimacy and they might try and find it else where. I think in that case those women should be ok with their spouse going to meet and date other women and maybe having an agreement about staying together but having an open relationship.

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  • Well for her to think like that she must be going through something very serious. You need to get her help whether she like it or not. I have a feeling she's sleeping with someone else but not saying. Sex must not be good even though he's a good looking fellow

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    • I think her sexual desire has gone down due to menopause. She is hitting early...

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    • well your call but when its for the greater good sometimes you just have to. Falling into depression is much like an addict sometimes you have to force someone into a rehab just because its the best thing to do. Nothing wrong with that.. people have a hard time admitting their issues and are often scared to ask for help

    • I would not call it depression. She is not sad... she is angry. She know what she is doing. It is menopause... she know this. And she knows how to fix it. She just doesn't want to.

  • I don't really see why this is any of your business... it sounds like you want the man to leave his wife, maybe even start an affair with you?
    I mean, if he does leave her, that's fine. It's their problem not yours.

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  • Are you having an affair with him? If he isn't happy then he should just leave instead of thinking about cheating. But first of all before even considering a divorce, he needs to talk to her about it. Why he wants a divorce, how he feels, what she can do about it, etc. If she isn't doesn't want to do something about it to make it work, then thats when he can consider a divorce.

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