So, he broke it off with me after 5 years and he was really the only guy that I've ever even been with. It's been a 3 months and trying to talk to other guys makes me even more upset. I'm scared I'll never feel this way about anyone else. Does it ever get better?
Most Helpful Guy
It did for me. I was in the same boat.
My first love was the "one and only". How could I ever feel that way if she was the "one and only"?
So I had this gaping hole in my heart after she broke up (she was my fiance at the time) where I couldn't even immerse myself in the world anymore. People seemed hollow, like machines going about their everyday business. I couldn't connect to anyone, I had no feelings left but bitterness.
And in my case I kind of kept tearing open fresh wounds repeatedly by drinking myself to oblivion every weekend while staring at pictures of us together.
Then one day I just threw away everything of hers. I started trying new hobbies, traveling to new places, made friends and stopped being a bitter drunkard (still drunkard, but making an effort to be a cheerful one). I filled up my calendar with events. And one day I find myself waking up excited to do things and without even the faintest thought of her.
It was then, through a friend of a friend of a friend, that I met a girl who made me feel like "the one and only" again.
Now in retrospect I don't even miss that ex. There was a time when I thought I could die for her. Now she's just a girl. I remember how strongly I felt about her, only now it's accompanied by the thought, "Hmm, why?"
Love is a fantasy. It's a subjective experience. It's built on hopes and dreams and fantasies, it's in our imagination. A perfectly rational guy could not fall in love with a girl. He would only think, "She has nice child-bearing hips and our relationship appears to be pleasant."
Being brokenhearted is really about getting your hopes and dreams crushed. But it's not impossible to build new ones, just as ambitious, with a new person.
But time doesn't heal a thing. What you do with the time is what helps to heal. It helps to fill up your heart with things worth loving again. I recommend "things", not guys, because rebounding can only tear open fresh wounds over and over (another thing I was doing wrong).1
Most Helpful Girl