Did he love me, was he seeing someone else, was he not in to me?

So I started dating a guy. We went on our first date and he mentioned something about "wanting just someone to hang out with, not a relationship", but then later he took it back and said "I want to make you mine" he acted super in to me when we were together and called me. But he said he was a bad texter and rarely texted me from the start. He would sometimes text only once a day. He worked 12 hour shifts six days a week and for the first week of dating I saw him often. Then it would come that he would stay home after work to avoid being sleep deprived, even if he got home early. He told me I was wonderful and I could hear passion in his voice. his work was very unpredictable and he'd always say "I'll see you tomorrow" and then he wouldn't end up being able to see me because he got off late, but wouldn't communicate that to me. Then his one day off one week he didn't see me because he was running errands. And then he would make plans with me and then cancel them and say he was with his family. He did This while telling me he wanted my commitment and he even said that he loved me. One day he said he couldn't even call me for two hours because he was Talking to his dad. But when I saw him it was fantastic, and he looked me in the eyes and chimed that he was falling for me. Being so in to him, he was making me crazy. I often drunk texted and blew up his phone, asking what the deal was. He got mad every time I did it, saying "I tell you how much I like you, why is that not enough?"Finally, one day I was with him and a random number called. It was a girl angrily asking why he hadn't called her back. He said it was some girl that had a crush on him that didn't like back. I tried to break up with him but he called me and told me he would do anything for me and drove 40 min to see me after A shift. And he told me he'd see me this Sunday when he didn't have work and then forgot because he was apparently busy with his family. I got mad, then he broke up with me over the phone


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  • Wow that guy sounded totally just like my ex, in person he is so nice but the lack of communications and wouldn't be able to tell you that you can't meet etc. My ex dumped me brutally yesterday. When he said he will meet up and discuss in person about the break up which he arranged the date and time by himself but he never show up. Plus insulting me on the message. Leave him, find someone who actually remembers and cares about you. Or else you might end up hurting like me for being a fool for trying to understand how busy he is.

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    • Can you tell me the guy's name please - its sounds so much like my ex...

  • I think he wanted to have his cake and eat it too.

    I don't doubt he liked you or was into you, but I don't think he liked you as much as he says he did... because IF he did, his actions would back up his words, and IF he liked/loved you as much as he says he did, why would he "forget" to spend time with the person he claimed to love, or why wouldn't he make/commit/remember to spend time with the person he claims to like so much? Like, if you genuinely like/love someone, it's not hard (at all) to think of them and want to spend time with them.

    I don't think you were wrong in your actions. He can't really own up to his actions, and he makes excuses for himself so often. Plus, him getting mad at you, after him flaking on you so man times, is an indication that he wants you on his terms, and the second you speak up for yourself, suddenly it's over.

    I can't really say if he's cheating, because what if that girl who called really is just someone who's crushing on him and he's really trying to shake her? However, I'd be very skeptical in trusting him around girls.

    Like, he's a shady character, quite honestly.

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