Question to go to the gym or not go to the gym?

Any tips on how to react to this scenario? My ex and I recently broke up after being engaged and dating for 3.5 years. He ended it, I still miss him, but yeah he's not coming back. Here is my scenario: I really want to join this gym that my ex goes to. I used to have a membership there in the past. I'm not joining the gym in order to see him. I am planning on going at times when I think he is not there. I also think that I should not revolve my life around him, because he is no longer in my life. I should just do the things I want without restriction. This is the also the nicest gym in the area. I am worried about my own feelings and my future self though. I feel like it is inevitable that once he moves on I am going to feel bad about it. If I end up seeing him the gym, how do I react? My ex and I did at one time used to go to this gym together. If one day I see him working out with another girl at the gym, how can I help myself to avoid feeling bad at the situation. I still want to be able to do the things I want to do in my life, in my town, and not have restrictions. My counselor told me that maybe seeing him move on might help me move on also. I just figured that if I'm also going to be waking up this early everyday I might as well, wake up and go to the gym before work. This gym is 10 mins away from where I live. It is also 5 mins away from my work. Any thoughts?

Updates:
And let's be honest. My counselor also told me, that he is probably judging me anyways going to the gym or not going to the gym. He's no longer in my life, so I guess whatever the reason he thinks I'm going to the gym is really insignificant. Just like Kid Kudi's song lyrics people are just going to judge you anyways.
It's also only been 2 months since we broken up too.

0|0
33

Most Helpful Guy

  • if you think that you can't control your feelings and you will break right away when you see your ex in the gym or when you see your ex in the gym with another girl then dont go, otherwise i'd suggest you to be strong and go to the gym and face everything

    0|0
    0|0
    • I feel like I am going to do both of those things. I'm going to face it, but yet I'm going to cry when it does happen. I'm just going to do it in the bathroom or at home, and hopefully go and try to avoid seeing him. Maybe one day it won't matter, and I'll see it and I am hoping to be unfazed by it. I just want to be able to live my life and do what I want when I want to.

    • hmm then i'd suggest you to go to the gym and face everything, it will be hard and tough but you'll get stronger

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think we can all agree that this gym is the best option. Short distance from home and work? Check.

    As for your reaction if/when you see him there, just ignore him. I imagine he will do the same. If you keep seeing him and don't want to, try going at a different time. It can be very uncomfortable for everyone involved. I don't blame you for wanting to avoid that.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Yeah I've been waking up at really odd times. Unfortunately his brother goes at like 3 am, cause he is kind of a nut. I don't know who would want to do that. I think if I were to go I'd wake up like at 5 and go. I just don't want to run into him either. I guess it's better running into the brother instead of the actual ex boyfriend. I actually think his brother is a weirdo. But whatever. I would like to avoid seeing my ex as much as possible. I feel like he thinks we can't get along or be married. He doesn't like me any more. I feel like the gym might be another place to meet other guys too. Who knows what can happen? Maybe the 5 am people will be the cooler more responsible hot guys? I am trying to look at this situation the best I can. I feel like I shouldn't sacrifice what I want for someone who isn't even in my life anymore. Someone who is jerk who promised me forever and couldn't deliver.

    • Show All
    • I was at least spared that humiliation.

    • Yeah at least I never had my Save the Dates sent out. That would have been worse. He never got me his guest list, and it was really annoying.

Sponsored

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Go for it. Maybe he'll jealous at all those men looking at you squat

    0|0
    0|0
    • lol. I don't do squats. Is that what guys think is hot when they see a girl at the gym? I usually just use the treadmill and some of the equipment. I'm also thinking about just doing laps at the pool. Also, I've been trying a lot harder with my appearance these days, and I think it is working. I catch guys staring at me. It's pretty nice. I think my ex is missing out. Who wouldn't want me? But I keep reading that exercise is what will help you emotionally too through a break up. I've also worked out after a tough break up, and I feel like I need the gym in a form of the crisis that I am in.

    • Show All
    • You will see huge amounts of improvements, and if u have be been dedicated for that long you will want to push your limits further

    • Yeah, I think I already look good though. I guess I can always look good, and there is room for improvements. Maybe I'll get a more healthy glow or something lol. I'm just really looking for something to do to get my mind of things, and to get some endorphins going. Looking better can help too I guess. Maybe I'll meet someone new there too who knows.

  • Sometimes i go

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • He will perceive it as you are being needy and desperate and running into him everywhere to reconcile with him.

    and it will fuck your feelings and confuse you and you won't be able to easily get over him.

    1|0
    0|0
    • True, but should I care what he thinks about me being needy and desperate? He's not in my life anymore... I feel like he's going to judge me whether I'm at the gym or not. Besides I can't go and hide from life everywhere I go. I might as well move towns if that is the case, and do everything for a stupid guy.

    • Show All
    • Yeah, I don't even need a body transformation. I feel like I'm already pretty good looking. I just want something to take my mind off things. I honestly don't even think my ex is even that bad of a person. I am probably the only one who really needs an ego boost lol.

    • You are absolutely right about not going to the gym right away. I saw my ex at a bar last Friday night. I would rather not see him all of the time at the gym.

      I walked past him directly at the bar and I said hi to him like we were strangers. It was a weird feeling, it was like a What the F are you doing kind of thing. It was so weird. Here's a guy who would get excited to see me about three months ago now is looking at me like he's the last thing he'd want to see. (He left the bar directly afterwards.) We stayed.

  • Just go. Talk to him like you are strangers and start again.

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...