Can I legally still see my ex boyfriends daughter?

My ex boyfriend and I just broke up after being together for 4 years, Last month. We have no plans on getting back together and the breakup was a very messy one. He, and another girl he was previously with split up in 2011, which was her decision. However, she was pregnant with his baby and didn't know until after the breakup and he got with me in 2012. The mother didn't want anything to do with the baby after she was born and pretty much neglected the baby at all costs and refused to come pick her up and got involved with drugs. My ex has had full custody of the baby ever since she was dropped off at his house when she was a couple weeks old and he went to court. My ex wanted me to breastfeed the baby since she was so young and he knows its really healthy for her. I went to a lactation counselor and got hormone pills to start my milk flow and breastfed her on and off for about a year and a half. My ex had a job as a travel agent but quit I after a while to be with me and his daughter. His daughter even started calling me mommy when she was around 11 months, which melted my boyfriends heart. My boyfriends mother was also around to help out with the baby. The baby loves her dad and always wants him and seems attached to him when at home. If out in public, she would throw a fit unless it was either me or him holding her. The daughter is turning 4 this year and I feel like I have always been there for her and are a significant part of her life but her dad won't let me see her. I always spoiled her and played with her. I have a younger sister who is 13 years old who always played with her too. I always took that little girl out to do mother/daughter/aunt (my sister) things. It really upsets me because my boyfriend is an only child, doesn't have a father and only has his mother to take care of her. When we were together she could be with all of us including my family. Can I still see her? I really miss her. How do I get over this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, you can't.
    He hasn't done anything to prove that he's an unfit parent and as her biological father he has every right to dictate who can and cannot see his child.

    If it means that much to you, then you'd just have to ask your ex if it's okay with him, other than that it's best to move on.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No you have no legal rights, your not a biological parent or an adoptive parent. Your ex is one stubborn selfish asshole though. He made you a mother figure to his daughter and do all those things for her and grow a bond, just to slam the door shut and cut off all access. That poor daughter must wonder why she can't see you the same way your wondering why you can't see her. I would say the only time you would be able to see her again is when she is 18 and thats if she remembers you or doesn't already have another woman manipulated into the same path as you were. I wouldn't get back with your ex or talk to him at all again, he seems like the worlds biggest asshole for what he did. You already can't reason with him to even see the daughter for her sake, I would just give it up. Its gonna be hard but you are going to have to move on. I'm sorry. :(

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What Guys Said 7

  • You have no legal rights with this child. That is actually pretty shitty, because your guy made you the mother figure and had you doing more than most women would in that case. Then to yank her away from you is hurting both you and the girl. He is an asshole, but legally he has the rights.

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  • You might have a case but, let's face it, this is what marriage is for... Stuff like this is WHY people get married. So, while I am optimustic that you might gain some visitation rights, I doubt you will without a sympathetic judge who might also have to be somewhat of an activist.

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  • Sadly, both you and his daughter are pawns in his game. The biggest thing here is he's not being fair to her. She has grown up with you as, at least, a motherfigure. He is hurting his own daughter by denying HER the right to see YOU!

    I don't know the rules and laws where you are, but legally, I'd say you have no rights at all. I hope it ends in a satisfactory outcome, but I wouldn't hold your breath. Sorry!

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  • If you're not legally a parent/guardian probably not. Depends where you live.

    Talk to a lawyer. Asking on here won't get you the correct answer because everywhere is different.

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  • Lol. No.

    Jeez. Now women want legal custody of kids that aren't even theirs. I didn't think it could get more insane.

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  • Nah, I don't think you've got a right legally.

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  • That's a tough one. Why can't you guys get back together? Honestly I think thats the only way you'll be able to see her again.

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What Girls Said 11

  • Legally, I don't think you have any visitation right. You could try getting a free consult from a lawyer but I feel that they're also going to tell you no. You're not the child's parent.

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  • Since you weren't married in any way, even common law marriage, no. You have absolutely no visitation rights to the child, whether you see her or not is entirely up to the father.

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  • If he has full custody then no, legally there's nothing you can do, even if you have a bond with her.

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  • Just simply ask him. I'm sure he'll understand your attachment to her.

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  • Not legally but you can try to talk some sense to him after all you breastfeed the girl which express how much she meant to you.

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  • I don't think you can legally. I know this is painful but give your ex some space for the moment.

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  • No not your baby leave him alone! It's his baby and the other girls baby go have your own baby.

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  • I applaud you for stepping up where a others have failed this child! But unfortunately you have no legal rights to the baby):

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  • No you can't. The kid isn't yours. The childs father seems like an asshole though. Sorry

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  • I'm sorry to say this but I don't think so. If the childs father has full custody and says you can't see her, you can't see her. I understand that you may have thought of her as your own and treated her as your own, but she's not yours. She's your boyfriends. It was nice of you to care for her the way you did, I dont think many woman would have but unfortunately you have no say in this case. The best way to move on would be to spend some quality sister time and try to explain to your sister why she can't see the baby anymore either. Dont rush into another relationship.

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  • No. There's no reason why you should be in her life if you're not in his

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