I'll keep this short.
My mom is very very open with me. She's been with my father for 20 years, and is out of love with him. He's basically free loaded off her for a decade while I was growing up and claimed to be taking care of me. He always had a good work ethic and we suspected he was burned out or depressed but after six months and going to therapy, he hasn't given a clear answer or sought help and it continued for 9.5 more years.
He has paid nothing he's supposed to so my mother has paid for everything for all 3 of us in a VERY expensive part of the US. We both pretty much hate him for that and other reasons but that should be a good background.
Anyways she can't divorce right now because I'm heading off to college and other issies so it's a horrible time to. She's communicated to him that she doesn't love him and I feel horrible and I want her to have someone and be with someone. Should I mention to her to maybe try to find someone else? Of course talking to my father and making sure that's okay, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea to even mention it. Thoughts?
Most Helpful Guy
If she bangs someone while she's married a divorce court won't look kindly on that. I don't see why this is acceptable for a woman but not for a man, usually people get married then women contribute nothing financially for a decade while the kids grow up and nobody thinks the man is entitled to go and find some new pussy.6
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Most Helpful Girl
No. Because that is still adultery and by doing so, you aiding in causing your mom much more trouble. If that gets out in court or something, she can be in big trouble, and that will cause problems for your fundings for college. That is still a law. And if they found out you helped her, you can get in trouble for that too. Because they will put it as you helping to destroy the marriage. I know because I have been in a similar situation where I was accused of help my mother do something that she did not even do, or ever thought about doing. And all that stress made my mother sicker and her cancer came back very aggressively over that. Don't. Whatever your mother chooses to do is own her. Do not aid her in a sinful act, just because your father doesn't want to be one or a husband.1