How do you get over someone in real life?

This is a question that popped in my head today just when I went grocery shopping and bumped into an ex...

I don't get it, I live very close to him but I haven't seen him in nearly half a year but now when I finally feel like I am over him I bump into him all the time. And every time it hits me hard. All the feelings rips me inside. I have to say our relationship never really was serious but there were serious feelings and we went in a rollercoaster with them. He wanted something else and I wanted something else and shit happened. I think it hurt me more, but how do I know...

Yeah, but back to the topic!

After you finally feel healed again how do you feel healed when you meet them? How do you behave normally? I can't and I don't know if it helps after I have seen him so many times it becomes a norm... do you think it is possible to ever feel normal when you meet the one person who messed you up real bad?

  • You get used to it
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  • It will hurt a while
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  • Maybe it never really stops
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  • Dunno
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  • Other
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Most Helpful Guy

  • The following worked for me:

    # Step 1
    The first thing I do is accepting I cannot switch off my feelings for her like a switch light.

    # Step 2
    I feel the hurtful feelings of breaking up rather than diverting attention from them. It doesn't matter if it takes a day, week or month. Diverting focus from the hurtful feelings only decelerate the recovery process.

    # Step 3
    I accept she is no longer with me, instead of nursing hope and fighting to win her back. This is the biggest mistake I made in my first breakup. It only heightens the pain and prolongs the recovery process.

    # Step 4
    I focus on the good memories she brought to my life, and on things I would have loved to experience with her. This shifts my mind from hurtful to positive emotions. The mistake I made with my first breakup is I focused on her frailties to convince myself she wasn't beautiful enough. I was merely lying to myself because if she wasn't good enough I won't have been with her in the first place.

    # Step 5
    I remove items (e. g. clothes, cosmetics, pictures, etc.) that I associate with her. I also block and delete all her phone number, email address and other forms of communication like whatsapp, etc., including the contacts of some of her friends.

    # Step 6
    While carrying out the above five steps I engage quite a lot in activities, such as meditation, running, gym and strolling in the woods and park. I set important activities to do daily, and focus on completing them.

    # Step 7
    I draw inspiration from my first breakup. I flash my mind back and challenge my behaviours and thoughts. My world didn't crumble. I dated beautiful girls after that. I then flash my mind back to current breakup. It then suddenly changes my perspective, confidence and mood. It's like telling myself I have been through this before, and came out stronger 6 to 12 months after the breakup.

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    • Wow thanks for this list 😉 I have already went through a lot of these stages, but I still feel shocked when I meet him and it is probably because he has tried to contact me like nothing happened and it mixed my mood a little

    • Certainly, the sight of or contact with an old flame (i. e. ex girlfriend or boyfriend) is likely to stoke a range of emotions, including anger, anxiety, spite, nostalgia, jealousy, love, and mixed feelings).

Most Helpful Girl

  • I just detach and move on. If I see him out and about, it might be awkward in the beginning, but eventually I just really don't care.

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What Guys Said 4

  • The only way Ito get over bad experiences is to have a lot of good experiences that outweigh the bad ones!

    So stop worrying about him and get out there and have more good experiences!

    Start by going to new places, doing new things, where you won't meet him or people that remind you of him.

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    • I have done that 😄 I actually met a ton of new people last month and o went to new places, but I can't move because of him... And as I said, before I didn't bump into him all the time even if I have been living this close all the time and maybe been a lot more in these circles.
      Thanks for the advice though 😊 it could help if the situation was different.

  • Just by living your life and distracting yourself

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  • Never had an ex. Never had a girlfriend.

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  • Good bye and have a good life. Thats how i feel about it

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What Girls Said 0

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