What or how do you guys deal with a breakup? Do you workout, maintain busy, party, talk about your feelings with a support system, etc?

So I'm currently dealing with a breakup and I've noticed I've been dealing with emotions in an unusual way. I began to enter a cleaning rampage... like detail cleaning/organizing. Im out of school for the summer so i have little more time since i have a part-time job. So since everything is still super fresh I've spent most of my time cleaning, organizing and donating to Goodwill.

It keeps me busy during the day so i don't have to think about my painful breakup. I've developed a cleaning rampage behavior instead. I don't think its bad, its the way I've been dealing with it... i mean I've detailed cleaned the kitchen,(pantry, cabinets, labeling, etc), living room, laundry room, organizing all Christmas decorations (and mother has a lot)(LIKE UGH) but I've managed to do all that. I've been able to take out boxes of things to donations, and bags full of trash, I don't know where all this comes from but i guess no-one really deep cleans like i do? Not to mention i live at home with Now I'm trying to clean out the attic and organize all the stuff up there. Is this behavior normal? Is it considered a healthy coping behavior?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah I just like to do self improvement or be productive with my time. It's hard to feel too sorry for yourself when you feel yourself becoming more awesome. I think it's one of the more healthy coping behaviors because 1. You're doing a good thing. 2. You're being productive 3. You're doing character building and 4. All of this makes you look at yourself and make it hard to see yourself as being worthless which is how many people feel after a breakup.

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    • Yes, exactly. I feel so good at the end of the day to see I've accomplished a lot in a matter of hours and not once does the break up cross my mind. I break a sweat, working out and lifting/ constantly moving around the house. Sometimes during the night it hits me and i begin to cry but thats about it. I was worried that i was going down an unhealthy behavior. haha

Most Helpful Girl

  • As long as you're not doing anything that's gonna destroy you or others then I think that what you're doing is totally fine! In fact, it's a healthy way to cope.
    I've always been an honor student but I remember after dealing with a bad breakup I would do even more studying. If a painful memory would randomly come to my mind, I'd probably think of it for a few then I'd go, "well, time to practice some math problems." Before u know it, I'd be so preoccupied with those math problems that the breakup would be the last thing on my brain. What was the outcome of me doing that to cope? Oh nothing, just better grades and a GPA boost. lol Bottom line is I think what ur doing is fine. I've also talk to my sister about it so I recommend talking to someone u can really trust. I wish u the best 🙂

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What Guys Said 3

  • Yes anything that focuses your attention somewhere new is a healthy way to not obsess about the breakup. Keep it up! Getting a pet, traveling, looking up old friends that you dropped contact with... there are many ways.

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    • Thanks for the advice.
      I'm trying to stay busy and productive so i have no time to think of the breakup. Do you consider this a way of actually dealing with the breakup or is this more of me not trying to deal with the break up?

    • You can't 'deal' with it by rehashing what happened and moping constantly.. Getting ivolved in something positive is the best route.

  • Keep busy. It doesn't matter what you do, its hard either way.
    Some people try to party or go all out but eventually end up crashing or realizing they haven't gotten over their feelings later on. You can do all sorts of things but at the end of the day you have to face it, you have to deal with it.
    Your cleaning sounds a bit odd, I can see you want to keep busy but maybe you want to get rid of things that clogging up your life.

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    • I don't know i feel better after cleaning and reorganizing everything. I feel accomplished when i get rid of clutter... maybe its a reflection of my feelings at the moment. I don't know a way I'm dealing with my roller coaster of emotions during my breakup.

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    • I was just thinking about that last night. I guess i can always find something to do around the house... summers will be over soon and ill go back to old routine of school, work and juggling home life. YESSSS! i love evening drives by myself while i listening to music with windows rolled all the way down, i find it to be very therapeutic.

    • I guess I should do some cleaning too

  • **picks up the phone, dials a number meanwhile the song "on to the next one, on to the next one"... plays in his head**
    That is if she broke up with me, and over something stupid, which is surprisingly often.
    its usually because of unwillingness to compromise... so they can hit the road.
    If it were anything else... there wouldn't be a break up.

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