I've been in a 10-month relationship with a woman and I have caught her out lying to me quite often. The 1st instance was about 4 months into our relationship, I went on a day trip to another city and found out that she had lunch with her ex-boyfriend, her explanation has that she wanted so see his young daughter. I let that slide until I caught a glimpse of a message she was sending during dinner about a month later. I thought I saw his name, but she denied it and later asked me to check her phone to prove her innocence. I looked and saw no messages, but the message records were still there – she had deleted the messages, but not the record of the messages - 10 messages over a month. She then admitted having comms with him, but claimed amnesia about what the messages were about. This resulted in a big fight where I told her that I would break up with her if she had any further comms with him behind my back. About a week later her phone started ringing repeatedly in the early hours of the morning, she slept through it, but it woke me up and I saw the name of male friend who she told me she had a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship about 4 years previously. So I called the guy back from her phone – his ‘hey baby how’s it going’ did not appeal and I told him to get lost. I then found out that she had been sleeping with him in the time between her ex-boyfriend and myself which exposed another lie since she told me she had not had sex in that time-frame. I then caught her in another lie when she told me she was having dinner at a girlfriend’s house, but my friend spotted her in a pub with her girlfriend and a crowd that included the guy who had been her ‘friend with benefits’. I love her and she claims to love me, but I am not sure if I can trust her anymore and I am considering breaking up with her. I tend to be insecure in relationships – she calls me paranoid and jealous based on the above. Am I justified in feeling this way and wanting to break up with her?
Most Helpful Girl
Get the hell out of there. One lie: maybe acceptable. But repeated lies like that and then deleting the text messages to try and look innocent when she'd been caught out is unacceptable, and will only continue happening. If she really loved you she wouldn't be contacting and going out with these other men; she'd be focused on you. You deserve better!1
Most Helpful Guy
Dude... she's just not worth it. Leave her.0