Mmh. Best revenge after a nasty breakup?

Me and this guy have been dating awhile and recently is when all things shook up.
I would say that I have kept him beyond happy with all his needs and he has mine. Its like one of those Romeo and Juliet stories you see in movies. Our families didn't want us together. So we secretly saw each other for a long time. Bad idea eh? Well he moved out to his own place and things started going downhill. Romeo drifted away and started seeing other girls. I shouldve seen it coming. Then came his "friends" and he got more distant. I respected his space and tried not to be jealous because in front of me he flirted with them like there's no tomorrow. And at night he would tell me how he onlu cares for me. We have many mutual friends and since it was a "hush" relationship only a select few know about it. Well then he got even more distant. Honestly, I already felt like it was coming before he even said anything. That he had a lot to "think about". Well you know how it ended.
I feel like a hopless fool still in love with him. I gave him many chances over and over. This "hush" thing was his idea. NowI feel played bad.
I dont even want to go back to him anymore after all that he put me through. Butwhy do I still have this for him?
I see him couple times a week through mutual friends and although I still have something I want to show his sorry ass that I am much better off without him. I am just hurt and I hate how he looks at me with that sly smile knowing he played me and no one knows.
How can I get over it all for good and revenge him and make him regret this?
Honestly I feel like he could care less but at least for my own self.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you got enough brothers and male friends walk with them and then spit on his face with the disgust he deserves. If he dares retaliate you all take him down. Fast. Bad. A bastard ass beatdown. Don't do this if he has friends, or access to firearms. It's meaner than forgive and forget but is also more risky. I would not try this in the US. Would be relatively safe in Germany. Basically if you can find a (perhaps fake, among your male friends) boyfriend and show him he's totally expendable, it's probably even better this way. Tell him thank you for reminding you to change your boyfriend. If your new boyfriend ends up strong enough tell the jerk he should have told you earlier to remove the pathetic lowlife swine that he was from your life. Don't use words like s hole as this indicates anger. Show disdain and disgust. Don't provoke or insult openly unless you have the numbers and he can't fight back, because as a girl, unless you have karate (or similar) fighting experience you're disadvantaged. Which is why if you plan on going hard against him always have your brother/father/new BF/male friend/ group of friends with you. It could work but could also get tgem into trouble and provoke a feud among families. So the fake new boyfriend and disdain look shall be smarter and more efficicent. Whatever you do, be careful.

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    • I might have a way to make him wish he didn't. One of his friends alwayd tried to flirt with me and that always ticked him off. Who knows, maybe Ill just flirt right back just a tiny bit lol
      he's a great guy really. Just doesn't know how bad he will miss me once im gone for good.

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    • you're too sweet! Thank you! I tried to be! Each time I tried to do something special for him, he rejected him coldly.
      Maybe I was too kind?

    • It's not you. It's not your fault to be nice and caring. You can't blame yourself for being too nice. There is no such thing, not in love. It's his fault for spitting on the care and love you offered him. HE was undeserving of you and the love aura you shined. In a certain way you're too good for many men as you behave. I'd recommend truly checking who you're with, and giving yourself only progressively. Yeah if I can recommend something: make sure you don't love more than are yourself being loved or you'll be in a vulnerable situation. You can cool down your emotions by seeing he's not as kind as you are, yet. I mean don't open your heart to everyone you get to love unless they love you the same. Otherwise you risk getting spit inside, backstabbed, and there are few things as painful as this. So yeah, don't open your heart too much too fast. Care about it, too. And yeah, you're welcome. You're nice and definitely deserve compassion after what happened to you.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Best revenge after a break up? To be hot, sexy, look great, feel great, and still have the biggest smile without him. Be a beautiful, vibrant, happy, peaceful woman and let his own conscious eat away at him over time. When he tries to look at you or make eye contact, don't even look at him. Treat him like he's invisible so that he can't get the satisfaction out of smirking at you like that.

    Trust me. Revenge on an ex is not all it's cracked up to be. I've gotten my fair share of glorious revenge and it only felt good for a little bit then I had to deal with the real problem which was the heartache.

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    • I went on a couple shopping sprees and mini makeovers and try to bring myself back up again and for a few hrs it works. Until I see him with her. Its like a gaping hole. I wish I could somehow make him feel invisible. I disappear before he seems me like that but still. Him knowing he still has effect on me is what gets me.

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    • This is not a what the hell issue this is a self-esteem issue and all the shopping sprees and all the eye contact baloney is not to help her feeling rejected and why why why why me you do not get over a relationship by jumping into another one. "You Can Run but You Can't Hide." You cannot run from yourself so if you want to know what the hell then keep on trucking

    • @NectarOfPuss Your name caught me all the way off guard lol

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Don't need to read it all. The best revenge for a nasty break up is ignoring him, forgetting him, moving on and being happy.

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    • Thank you! Oh how I try to! I wish I could know how to completely ignore him and make him feel invisible as he has me for months

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    • Yup, you're right... it does suck. And sadly this probably won't be the last time it happens. But moving forward is the only way to really deal with it.. sitting and dwelling on it does nothing for you. But seriously, just cut all ties with him, even if that means some friends for a little while. Make new friends if you need to, hang out with a guy from work if you feel like it, go out with the girls, just do anything and everything you feel like... because you can. :-)

    • I just might :) I just dont want him to think tht he won.
      Ahh what the heck. Who cares if he did. Why should I cry for it all? I won't show him my weakness no more. He had his chance. If he had some balls he wouldve done something to save it. Why should I? Why do I always heppen to be dating the wrong ones? Lol

  • being more successful such as finding a better guy and being happier and having a great job trust me it's way better than getting revenge.

    you are grieving and it might take you up to 6 months to forget about the guy and then you will be happier

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    • Ohh I sure hope its much faster than that! I am no angel myself but the last few weeks of it all he made me feel worthless.
      I guess this is when I can actually finish my college and head to med school like I've always wanted!

    • Listen... don't give ANYONE credit for making you feel worthless. There is no such thing. Your self worth can not be in the hand a of someone else. So whatever you do make sure at the end of the day you are ok with you... period

  • Tell your guy you slept with Jeb Bush. I'll confirm it if he asks me. I'm Jeb Bush and I endorse this message.

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  • The best way to get "revenge", is to simply be successful. Live your life, without him

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What Girls Said 5

  • Focus on yourself

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    • Yxx. I try! I've been doing so much overtime amd that seems to help a bit! I think this is the time I can do what he didn't like!

    • Exactly this is where you find yourself and get to know who you are and what you like.

  • For your own self you just get up and move on. He won't care, he never cared, he proved this by blatantly flirting with others in front of you and keeping your relationship secret from almost everybody who knows you both. The fact you decided to accept all that behaviour doesn't mean now you can get offended because he called it off- be more offended that you were with him in the first place, he's a dick. Seriously, never accept all that from a guy again. Learn from this.

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    • I guess when it all first started I was young and the games got ugly. I think I was more offended when he flirted in my face and then would treat me completely different hours later. I believe it is one thing to keep a relationship a secret but he treated my like i was a nobody around everyone. at least a bit of respect? Maybe thats why I am so hurt :(

    • He was never serious, I think you see that now. All you can do is use it as a learning curve. The next time a guy wants to hide your relationship or flirts with other girls and stuff, you won't be fooled.
      If you try to get revenge on him, two things will happen- 1 you'll feel even worse when he doesn't care, and 2 he'll feel flattered that you can't get over him and maybe just keep coming back to sweet talk you for sex then dropping you again.
      Just walk away with your head held high, use this as a learning curve about horrible guys, and find somebody better who's more worth your time. There's soooo many cute good guys out there, why waste time wrapped up over this asshole.

  • Grow up most of what you said is bullshit sort of a justification of why the whole thing fell apart. The whole thing fell apart because you're only 23 years old and you couldn't handle a mature relationship I could go on and on I need to stop
    you won't like what I'm about to say because you want to do something different but I'm telling you the best way to get back at him is to stop thinking about him go on live your life get into another relationship be happily married and have wonderful kids to think that you need to do something to them is totally immature Get back at him by being happy because he is not

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    • Maybe you are right. Revenging him wouldn't prolly wouldn't cause him to flinch. I just have to fight myself to move on and let him go for good. No matter how good I thought he treated me at first.
      Although I am only 23, I was ready for a real relationship that would lead to marriage.
      my fiance actually left me for my best friend years back and got married a month later. Maybe this is why I am so hurt?

    • This is happening to you again because you're not ready for marriage. You want to be married but you're not ready. Stop looking for a husband. You are making the wrong decision thinking you're supposed to be married or finding someone to marry. Enjoy your life learn grow. The more you look for a guy to marry the more you'll find somebody that you think you want to marry and have a fight and I'll be heartbreaking again and again and again. You asked a point-blank question – – the 23 years old and you say you were ready – – obviously you were not. You pick the guy who wound up fucking your friend. I beg you stop thinking about marriage date some guys learn grow as a human being.

    • Then thats what Ill try to do from now on. Focus more on growing myself. Maybe thing things will settle down for me.
      (I am from a greek family so thts why mrriage part got stuck with me. Thats what everyone wants from me.)

  • Best revenge is living your life the best way you can. Be happy. Enjoy what you like. Don't even bother wasting your time thinking about him.

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    • He he I wish I could!
      I think my problem is more at me trying to forgive myself on how I let this get this far and didn't see it months ago. :(

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    • I'm glad you're making an effort! C:
      And if it makes you feel better, the first guy I've ever almost loved told me by text that he was too busy to see me then shortly afterwards admitted that he had just started dating a girl he was into before he met me. It took me a few months to completely get over it and forget about him and having my friends by my side actually helped a lot! Hope things get better for you!

    • Thank you! Hopfully my recovery will be fast. He seems to be doing just fine without me. No need for me to feel bad about something that will never be the same!

  • Just be happy and show him that none of it mattered. Be sweet to him like nothing ever happened but don't give him any more attention then anyone else. Don't rub anything in his face. Just be sweet and fun... make him eat ti I say. I have had every ex of mine try to get me back... don't forgive him though or get back with him, win the break up and move on :D

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    • Maybe one day ill forgive him but I tried to be sweet with him for weeks. That didn't stop him. Maybe me being sweet with him makes him think that he can keep doinh that to me over and over. I just need to find a way to move on faster. This pain kins kills me.. :"(

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