We're broken up but still love each other :( help?

So, long story short: me and my boyfriend were together for 4 months and then we end up breaking up (actually he broke up with me) cuz I was super jealous and he had little to no patience for that. Even tho I begged him for a chance and told him I was willing to change with his help, and I sincerely am cuz I think he's worth it, it was no use. 2 weeks went by and we've talked on the phone about seeing each other for coffee and talk about our relationship as friends from now on and he told me that he still really likes me and misses me. He also tells it to our mutual friends. However everytime I text he takes hours to reply, sometimes doesn't even reply at all. He totally gives me the cold shoulder and acts like he doesn't wanna talk at all. It's just really f***ing w my head cuz damn it I like him too and I wanna be w him but I just can't figure out if he wants it too or not, I can't understand if he is putting up a fight or really doesn't wanna be w me. Should I tell him I met someone just to see if I can get a reaction out of him? Should I too give him the cold shoulder? Should I fight for him? How? Wut should I do? Pls help I'm totally lost :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "So, long story short: me and my boyfriend were together for 4 months and then we end up breaking up (actually he broke up with me) cuz I was super jealous and he had little to no patience for that"

    You said you are super jealous? so was it that you used to " FEEL" jealous or was it because you were trying to test your boyfriend by making him feel jealous? and the results didn't go in your favor?

    Anyways not only your boyfriend, most men will not have patience for a woman who is always super jealous. Men don't like to deal with such a woman and it's an unattractive quality for a person to have. Most men will break up with such a woman.

    In my view and from the facts you mentioned in your post I think he might still miss you, he might still like you but he doesn't want to be with you anymore. He misses and likes you but only from a distance. He doesn't want you to be in his life anymore.

    However I do agree that your boyfriend hasn't been very clear if he wants to be with you or not. Yes I do understand that can confuse a person. It's possible that he wants you to figure out by yourself that he doesn't want you in his life.

    Some of the questions you asked:

    1. Should I tell him I met someone just to see if I can get a reaction out of him?

    Now, again you are not learning anything from your past, you said you have been super jealous now I don't know if you had tried to make him jealous in the past but you are not learning anything. You are trying to play a mind game on him, you are thinking about trying to test him by making him jealous and mentioning the other guy. Let me tell you this will only make him hate you even more. Making a man jealous will not work, it will most likely backfire on you. Your boyfriend seems to be a man of character so these mind games won't work on him.

    If you try to do this, it will only make his decision to stay away from you even stronger and firm. It will convince him that you are immature, childish and that you have not learnt anything from your past.

    2. Should I too give him the cold shoulder?

    Now, that will be like tit for tat. I don't think will work but you can try if you want too.

    3. Should I fight for him?

    Well, logically speaking you can only fight for a person who wants to be with you but he is unable to do that due to some factor he cannot control but if the person has shown signs that they don't want you in their life, they don't want to be with you then it's pointless and foolish to fight for them.

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    • Thank u for ur opinion, I appreciate that. No, I've never in the past tried to make him jealous, I was the one who was jealous cuz he has a ton of girl friends and he's (in my pov) way too nice to them. But I wanted to get over it and in time I was really coming to terms with it I just needed his help some times but I would always talk not fight.
      He broke up with me at dinner two weeks ago. And at that dinner he told me he met a girl but it was just something that happened (they didn't flirt or anything so he says). He let me panic for a minute and then said she had a boyfriend and he also met the guy. It really hurt me, why would he say that? How would he feel if I say something like that?
      So then the 2 weeks went by and when he calls me about missing me and stuff I could hear him crying, I started crying too and ask if he was OK, he said no. For a sec, I thought he was in pain for not being with me but then on the next day he went back totally ignoring me.

Most Helpful Girl

  • if you really want him and still love him, dont play games. thats immature and life's too short to prolong your love life. don't live with regrets. be straight up with him and ask him

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What Guys Said 1

  • God you're dumb. It's over and you will not remain friends even if he suggests or agrees to it. You will not reconcile and if you do it won't last. You'll breakup in a shorter amount of time. Get over it and move on

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What Girls Said 1

  • Do you still feel sexual about him?

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    • Oh... So very much

    • Does he cause you to wet? Do you fantasize about him, or remember times with him?

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