What was the cause of your last breakup?

There are so many reasons for breaking up now, it makes me wonder why it is even worth getting into a relationship with another.
All votes are anonymous, but if you have broken up with another person please answer truthfully. If not one of the available options, then you can add an answer below.

  • Partner cheated on me
    28%(24)31%(40)Vote37%(16)
  • Partner wanted intercourse outside of marriage
    4%(3)4%(5)Vote5%(2)
  • Partner had poor personal hygiene
    2%(2)2%(2)Vote0%(0)
  • Partner became lazy
    4%(3)5%(6)Vote7%(3)
  • Partner was not that fun at all
    19%(16)20%(25)Vote21%(9)
  • I felt as though I was not loved
    42%(36)36%(46)Vote23%(10)
  • Partner had an unfortunate turn of events that left him/her a little less physically attractive than when we first fell in love
    1%(1)2%(4)Vote7%(3)
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Hi GaG community, I'm feeling positively overwhelmed with the responses to this question (and overwhelmed that I can't reply to all). Initially it seemed like the most common breakup cause was due to feeling cold and unloved but infidelity has surged with popularity recently on the poll. This question is designed to elicit responses that show how we act and cause pain to one another, so hopefully the answers can help some people to prevent their relationships from falling apart. Stay cool people.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The last breakup I had, was because I met someone else I was more compatible with. Our relationship was very sexual, which was fabulous but it lacked emotional intimacy. This was a contributing factor that I think made me receptive to seeing qualities in a new person.

    Don't close yourself to relationships because of a potential breakup. Situations change, people grow and develop, which can lead to a breakup. It's all a part of living. Intimate relationships are a beautiful thing and albeit they can make you vulnerable, it's worth the potential heartache.

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    • Thanks for the wise words, FetishP.

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    • No, not at all. I know it's not useful giving up. Certainly, I'm looking I'm looking for a Christian girl who is active in her faith, but they are so rare to come by. At this point of time, I just need some time to focus on the career side of things and I feel like I'm wasting time on all these dating apps but you can learn much here on GaG when you filter all the rubbish. You sound like you know a lot about love and I'm guessing you know how to effectively end relationships when they are sour without breaking his heart. Something like "dear, I know we have exceptional carnal engagement, but beyond that I feel like you don't care for my familial woes and joviality. We don't share in this." And then you hug him and shed a tear to indicate how it hurts. I'd imagine it went something like that. I'm presuming you are still with this new guy who is everything to you because you think alike.

    • Very insightful of you. I'll reply via message 😊

Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know what the cause was. I was in a relationship with a girl I really liked and thought everything was going great. However after a month and a half she started making excuses and then just stopped talking to me altogether. I honestly can't think of a single thing i did wrong, she never gave me a reason or said she wanted to break up. I'm sttill heartbroken 2 months later.

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    • This is the unpredictable nature of a person who doesn't know what they are searching for. One minute it's, one minuet there. This sounds like a pretty honest account though.

    • Yeah when I was with her I did kinda feel like she could be kind of an unpredictable personality, but that also made her fun and interesting to be with. I never knew when she was just gonna grab me and kiss me or things like that, but also at times felt like she maybe didn't know exactly what she wanted. Well the hurt is getting a little less, but its the lack of answers that's preventing me from getting the closure I need. Just wasn't how I wanted my first relationship to go but nowim hoping for someone a little less unpredictable to come along that just enjoys being with me and won't hurt me.

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What Girls Said 62

  • scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/.../...66350945_n.jpg

    People often rush into relationships with those who are not compatible. Usually people will stick to appearance rather than personality. While appearance is also important in order to be attracted to your significant other, it means nothing if you aren't emotionally compatible with each other. That's why people cheat, that's why people fight, that's why people just don't work out. Because they're not right for each other. I'm currently with my boyfriend, and being in this relationship changed me for the better. I can honestly say I have matured and my perspective on life has changed so much.

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    • Forgot to add also, there's often a lacking of communication as well. Everyone likes to keep shit bottled up inside until the point where they explode and WW3 happens. Then in arguments people low ball, talk civilly when talking about each other's feelings instead of getting overly defensive and calling names and such. Also take some responsibility and blame, no shame in admitting you were ALSO in the wrong. It takes two to fight.

    • I agree with so completely. Some people can't accept that they and their partner are nor right for each other and want to prove other people wrong about their relationship.

    • @NatashaJ agree. It just ends up getting worse over time and this could have time well spent with another.

  • The partner had been caught earlier in the day standing suspiciously close to my then best friend. Later in the day we were discussing that and a mutual male friend came and asked us if we were coming to wait for the bus (this was 9th grade) and said partner punched him in the face.

    I stormed off with the guy friend and then said partner came outside and I went to confront him about the two things and he grabbed me by the throat and lifted me off the ground so I gave him a palm heel strike to the face and his nose turned blue.

    And then we broke up.

    So... a little bit of everything.

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    • that is a little bit of everything. So by reason of deduction, it has been 7 years or so since that transpired and you have found a new man who is a giant by the looks of it and it its all smiles so lets make it forever.

    • Yeah, I'm engaged now. :)

    • Aw congrats miss. 😊

  • We were only together for haf a year before I attended a folk high school, where I had to live for half a year far away from him.
    And from the start I could feel he loved me much more than I did.

    So the fact our relationship was unbalanced and I was far away with a lot of interesting experiences, I lost my interest in our relationship.
    He is a great guy, there is nothing wrong with him at all, I was glad I was with him, it was just not meant to be.

    In the end after some months he asked me if I still believe in our relationship and I had to say that I did not. So we broke it off.
    No drama, no hard feelings.

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    • at least you've found it easy to move on, CMumble. LDR is very hard.

    • I think I found it relatively easy to move on because my feelings for him were fading.
      Though it was a good relationship.

  • I broke up with him because as I spent 15 days at my grandmothers deathbed, he was out texting my best friend (he didn't know we were close), trying to take her out and come see her. He lived 2 hours away and was happily offering to drive to her, but would never come see me as I dealt with losing a family member. He didn't speak to me on my birthday, and the day after she died.

    Later tried winning me back over by buying me a very expensive camera, then later after an argument (he had also been dating another girl up his way while trying to win me over and lying about it all) he tried to accuse me of stealing the camera and I had to pay him 350$.

    Wish I had never sent him that check, but I haven't heard from him since so life is good!

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  • The last relationship I was in I got dumped by my ex. The last one I was in where I left the guy was when I realized we weren't compatible and had different life goals and were VERY different people with very different moral values. We also clashed religion wise. I'm happily almost 8 months into a new relationship and have never been happier. Relationships are there to see if you're compatible not and is worth it when you meet the right person.

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  • He was gay

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    • Literally not like a joke or anything just to clear up any confusion
      He liked this guy who was tall, artistic, perverted, and had an afro apparently LOL I can't compete with that

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    • that's quite deceptive though pulling you along like that.

    • Its okay we weren't really very serious and it wasn't long

  • We always got toxic. The happiness never lasted, and after the many reconciliations, the time it took to turn bad was less and less. Also, I saw that it would be impossible to raise children (different faiths/lack of) and honestly, no shade, haha, but I didn't like his family and couldn't see myself celebrating holidays with them for the rest of my life.

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  • I only had an online relationship. I don't even think we can count it since we never met lol.
    But it ended like that, with no particular reason, it was mostly due to the distance I guess but I'm glad things ended and I actually regret that the whole "online relationship" happened because it was stupid.

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    • Yep if you determine that you won't exchange rings ever than it's probably not worth it.

  • My last breakup - I never found out why they dumped me. He just blocked me on all forms of communication out of nowhere, then 24 hours later texted me saying "I'm so sorry baby I should've have done that please take me back." and I said "no, I just cried for hours straight over you, trying to get you to tell me what was going on. So no, goodbye."

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    • Even if that a joke, that's horrible especially hearing that you got emotionally torn up.

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    • Well I hope you use this time to learn about the relationships and all their travails and then next time when love comes along you'll be fully prepared to tackle it face on and hopefully put a ring on it down the road.

    • Yeah, I have a hint as to why he left. But, the truth is, if he actually loved me, he would've stuck with it. So, I know he wasn't the right person for me anyway.

  • Mutual disagreeance. Fell out of love and didn't get along well anymore. We were great friends and that's all.

    I wanted to be passionate and ambitious as a couple and he did not, nothing wrong with that but that's how it was.

    Ended on good terms, don't really talk anymore.

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  • I voted E but it was actually that he was (trying to be) emotionally manupulative/abusive and I have no patience for that kind of bullshit.

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    • Good for you. I tried that too, and its horrible.

  • He was passive-aggressive, selfish and had a superiority complex. We were intellectually incompatible. I'm glad I'm no longer with him. I was so blinded by love that I started to obey all his rules and became enslaved by him.

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  • He turned stage four clinger.

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    • stage four? and this and the other stages of clinger consist of what? lol jc

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    • Clinging in general is unacceptable.

    • Clingons are bad for business yo.

  • Last time I told my current boyfriend I was done with him was because he went crazy and broke the hallway wall all the way through to our closet and I was pissed. I can walk through the holes and be in my room. But he fixed it so it's whatever.
    I dumped my ex because he hit me right after I got home so I socked him in the face and left 😭😭

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    • what a psychopath. What kind of a guy hits women? I have personally seen this before as a product of excessive alcohol consumption. They should have to at least serve a month in community service for this heinous felony.

  • Literal psychopath.

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  • I picked felt unloved but it's more complicated... she broke up with me because she said she was dealing with too many things and had to focus on her family, and that fucked me up because it was out of nowhere. After a while we got back together but it felt weird. I couldn't stop thinking about how she broke up with me, and then she found out I was taking drugs and got mad. One night, I forgot my keys and had nowhere to stay so I went to her place and she said I could stay in the guest room (she was mad because of the drugs) and I got angry and felt hurt because wtf guest room? so I freaked out and broke up with her... and that's it. We've seen each other a lot since then, tho and some things have happened but I don't know.

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    • Sorry to hear this, yourGranny. The pink username label indicates that your gender identity conforms to a female likeness. You will have to forgive me though, since I don't know how to relate to that cognition, but it sounds like you had a real horrible time and then there was some easing afterwards. Maybe you are friends now with this person and that's okay?

    • Yeah I'm gay. Ughh there's no easing, really. I wouldn't call us friends but I guess we still like each other so we keep hanging and helping each other. I don't know.

    • Okay. Thanks for the opinion.

  • I travel too much and was cheating him out of a real relationship experience.

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  • He lied to me about major stuff. And made fun of me in front of my and his family. He was the worst man I have ever met.

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  • none of those, it's just family issues where his mum literally a control freak and don't want his son to settle down early, because he need to support his family financially as his father was gone to somewhere else. and I can feel that she see me as a threat, and she's actually even try to control where should we live, no children allowed coz babies are expensive and etc, which is ridiculous and I can't believe there's a woman like this in this world lolz... so i leave the relationship.

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    • ah this is a common problem with parents intervening in the children's relationships. In my culture usually the two can make independent choices so long as they are 18+ (considered an adult) and have left the family home of course. Don't know if it is any different for you.

    • Actually it's the same here, only after working/marry, not specific after 18. We are suppose have independent choice actually, but nope for his family, his mum. That's really anoyying and frustated honestly

  • Religion incompatibility. Different Christian denomination. Couldn't solve it so we decided to break up.

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    • This one is particular interest to me. Why do denominations set us apart- pentecostal, apostolic, lutheran, presbyterian etc? Are we not all born of the same Spirit? I could understand if it was of different faiths eg. Christianity and Ba'hai but we all have same Lord Jesus Christ. The rock is what ties us together.

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    • He must be a roman catholic by the sounds of it, opposing the protestant movement.

    • Yes he is.

  • he has a son he didn't tell me about before we started dating and the worst part about it is that he doesn't take care of him. would never want to be with someone whos like that.

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  • We were long distance and he told me "Being away from you has made me lose all romantic feelings I have for you and I can't do this anymore." Whoops.

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    • yeh doesn't really help when you can never hold hands and all that other touchy stuff. in my opinion on your opinion lol.

    • I think it's a sign of a stable relationship to be able to be long distance and still be in love but when you're long distance for half a year, you kind of forget why you got together in the first place and that sucks. My advice to others is to not date from high school to college unless you're sure you'll stay together lol.

  • Partner cheated on me with a child.

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    • Now, there is a real reason for a red flag lol, if by child we mean this guy was a pedophile.

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    • yeh anything under 18 is off limits in Australia (unless you are in school still) but in America it looks dodgy if you are 21, deemed an adult, and get too friendly with anyone under 21. 15 year old people should be focusing on their grades and their career ahead of them.

    • Sorry, I had a typo - *16th birthday. But yes, I agree completely.

  • His friends got in his head and made him believe I didn't love him as much as I claimed and that I was no good for him so he left me

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    • that sounds nasty. Did you bother trying to explain to him about the aspersions?

    • Well any time I second guessed him, I got "I'm sorry, I still want to be best friends" or "I still care" then after about 3 weeks he admitted he missed me and felt it was a foolish move on his part but then the more we started talking he switched his story again and suddenly its my fault again because then it became "it was just supposed to be a break" and "I misunderstood his intentions"

  • He wasn't able to give me a strong foundation. Difficult to build up.

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    • This sounds like a car that needs warming up in the morning and takes forever to get going. Eventually breaks down if you push it and hasn't been worked enough. But we need a car that is efficient so we'll return these ones to the scrapyard. 😋

    • Thats another way to put it lol...
      I am okay with a used car, somewhat damaged, can be fixed.
      Its hard to get a good car :)

    • well we all have spider webs on out side mirrors and torn upholstery, 3336ps. No one has just come out of the factory with a lifetime guarantee of exceptional performance.

  • Never had a breakup.

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    • Well done. You have probably been studying some of these tips here and others to prevent this heartache, am I right? ;)

  • He went all crazy, out of nowhere. Made argues about nothing, sended my nudes to my friends, black mailed me so I couldn't leave him even though I wouldn't cause somewhere I still loved him cause I knew he was different than what he was like last 2 months, he kept promising me everything would be fine again and then randomly left me for some other girl who used him pretty much. He told me he stopped loving me for awhile and that it was all his fault & he misses me a lot. :^)

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  • Maybe you should be a other as a option and let people explain their breakups.

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    • had other as a*

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    • Sorry Natasha I'm petty new to this so I didn't no how to resolve the issue of providing a platform for a plethora of extraneous breakup stories. I can see many people have given opinions and I'm overwhelmed at the moment, but I think you meant use "other" as an option. sorry i forgot about that. next time.

      As a guy, I could try and explain your previous boyfriend's concerns: as humans we are all sinners and in particular a form of jealously may have come up that begot this breakup. You see, your ex boyfriend probably thought you weren't paying attention to him and lavishing it all on other guys so the jealousy take over him. Well i'm no counselor but thats just what I understand about humans and sin. I only asked this questions so I could avoid most of these mistakes later when love comes along. Hoping others learn from these as well :)

    • No he abusive and he was too controlling and it got to the point where he did that I was done with his ass. He was pathetic with his jealousy because I wasn't doing anything to make him think I would cheat or be stolen from. .

  • I wanted a partnership and he didn't. Simple as that I guess. :(

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  • My parents broke us up.

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    • That's not very nice of them :(

    • Haha nope BUT they had good reasons that I was too blind to see.

    • It's true that the ones who conceived you do know you well and care for you. Well they should as we should care for them likewise. When you older you may question and find out whether the reasons were good or not after some deep perception of the world has clarified things.

  • More from Girls
    32

4 private opinion(s)
Only the asker and the opinion owner can see it. Learn more

What Guys Said 29

  • I just got bored. She didn't change or do anything particularly wrong. I just never got to the point where I felt so deeply about her, same as most.

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    • I see. Hope you gave her a peck on the cheek before you said goodbyes to be a good fella. 😝

    • Usually did -- tried to avoid being cold during break-ups. I just had a hard time falling for a girl. Only happened twice in my lifetime. With the rest things would start to become routine before I developed strong feelings, and it felt like it was time to go our separate ways at that point. Of course I was on the receiving end sometimes too, but had a hard time developing feelings beyond, "Oh, she's nice, she's fun" -- then when fun starts wearing out, nothing left.

  • Relationships may be useless but you still want to have another person there for you. After much pondering I would be fine with a friends with benefits or FB or NSA type of relationship.

    Anyways. Me and my ex broke up over her having trust issues. You see when your genuine and honest with someone who's been burned bit to many times they think you are lying plus she was bi-polar so I had to deal with her episodes her and there. Plus I'm a pessimist so I look at life in a gray colour she did not like that. The relationship became flawed pretty fast really.

    Her wanting to change me. Her not wanting to travel and come see me made it all that worse as it was pissing me off always having to go see her and her never wanting to come see me, not to mention she made few remarks about how will I see her in winter. Long story short she dumped me over the phone, being pretty apathetic asshole that I am I didn't cry, or go into a breakdown state. I was relieved since I was getting annoyed with her as time passed and as more I learned about her personality.

    For example she went full out bitch on a McDonalds employee simply over a fucking drink. I would not even care about such tiny things.

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  • After 3 years, she just stopped loving me. I wanted her with all my heart and she didn't want me back. She cheated on me, lied to me, and left me to "work on herself" which apparently meant leave me for another guy

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  • First girlfriend was not open to my kinks/sexuality and it left me sexually unsatisfied. A clean happy break up though. I still hold a lot of respect for this ex-girlfriend.

    Second girlfriend began to disrespect me a lot after a while. One day she made a comment when we were eating at a restaurant about how she would rather be out working with a specific guy. I left her that night.

    In general though I am getting bored of relationships. My girlfriends would always seem to dump the blame on me for everything. If I said "I love you" too little it would mean I didn't love them. If I said "I love you" too often it would mean I am not manly, etc.

    I have actually noticed that I am happier and more satisfied with life when I am single ironically.

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    • Pls don't give up on it though. I think a little test we can use is to work out if we would say " I love you" to a particular woman if she never asked of it. Would we be inclined to say it and mean it in our hearts even not because she wants to hear it.
      With the comment though, we're all imperfect and say silly things all time. Maybe it could have been benificial to let her know you were hurt by the remark and ask why she said that in particular.

    • Communication can never be overrated. 😁😅

    • Trust me... I could not agree more. Even now I am unhappy in my current relationship lol

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    • img.photobucket.com/.../sadstean.gif

      Over the phone to :(

      Reason: Unknown mate

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    • I had a girl who broke up with via email. Said I was immature. Lol good times.

    • @howzit2015

      Sorry man, you were a victim of Female logic bro!

  • At the end of the day, she just didn't believe in me anymore. She didn't support the path I was determined to take in life.

    It hurt at the time -- not gonna lie, my heart and soul were pretty wounded. But I still think it's worth trying again until I get it right with someone else.

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  • My partner was struggling with adoption issues and felt that she needed to figure herself out. We didn't want to break up, we had to. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

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  • none of the above

    i felt like she was too immature for me

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  • The last girl I was with simply somehow lost interest and couldn't exactly tell me why. So I called quits. She said we should remain friends but nope. Fuck that. Either serious or nothing.

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  • My denial over many traumatic issues.

    With me having a perfect opportunity to work through them with my ex wife but never being courageous enough to fully lay myself bare

    She struggled with what she saw as me not having complete trust in her whereas I saw it as my means to survive

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  • Never had break up. Don't believe n do this

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    • Wow. You're in the same boat as me cowboy. Keep watching the people that are together and listening to what goes wrong and don't practice it, then you'll be fine.

  • The last romantic relationship that I was in that ended, I ended because she was a gold digger who was leading me up the garden path dangling sex like a carrot on a string.

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  • She was much younger then me, and she wanted children.

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  • She was trying to have a date with a guy on twitter.. Plus she was always ashamed of me in front of her freinds and acted like im the bad person.

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  • She physically assaulted me.

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    • some ladies are pretty crazy, especially if you get them angry in the kitchen and they're holding a cleaver. :p

    • No, thankfully this one was just holding cereal boxes and bags of chips. All I did was tell her I was an atheist and the fundie in her flipped its shit.

  • I did something wrong, once.

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  • I cheated with my girlfriend with @fearless_banana we had elephant fart porn sex.

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  • None of the above? Emotional incompatibility coupled with mismatching fundamental beliefs.

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  • H - she went abroad to finish PhD.

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    • Oh I hope you said farewells and best wishes and it wasn't an uncomfortable split. It always pays to be nice and respectful to people.

  • Other (but sort of Option A): hooked up with guys while her and I were a thing, as well as breaking our relationship off every two weeks.

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  • She kept ignoring me while she hung out with her male"best friend"😕

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  • The restraining order she filed

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  • Jeolusy.

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  • She broke up with me due to a lack of communication (according to her).

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  • My extra chest and shoulders hairs

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  • I'm too handsome so I had to leave.

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  • Realized I didn't want someone like her in my life. So when I got into a new university I told her I didn't want to be with her. She also called me a whore so that was also a contributing factor.

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  • I felt as though I was not loved

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  • My penis was to big

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