Blocked me on Facebook?

My ex-boyfriend just blocked me on Facebook when we haven't talked for weeks. Why?

Okay, I'll make this as brief as possible because I know you guys don't have all day.

Boyfriend of 3 years lost his job a little over a month ago and went a little crazy, and things got terrible between us. He finally decided to go to therapy and decided we needed to break up and not speak to each other anymore because he was ashamed of the way he behaved towards me. He said he was too dependent on me and needed to "force distance" between us and not speak anymore. I wasn't thrilled about it because I thought we could still work something out, but he was insistent. Finally I went along with it and didn't protest and completely left him alone as he wished.

A week later he texts me on my birthday saying that he'll always love me and I'm always on his mind. I responded "thanks"- just like that. We haven't been Facebook friends since our breakup because I had deleted it and deactivated it, but as soon as I reactivated it he blocked me This happened 2 weeks ago.

My question is- why? I wasn't bothering him. I wasn't even talking to him. It has been over a month since our last "real" conversation. One week he's breaking up with me, the next he's telling me he loves me, then he's blocking me on Facebook. What is this guy's deal, is he playing games? Is he trying to get a response out of me or p*ss me off? It just sucks being dumped and THEN having him do something such as block me... like adding insult to injury. I mean, I GET IT dude, you don't wanna talk to me anymore... who is he trying to convince, me or himself?!


Most Helpful Girl

  • It seems like this guy is a bit unstable, even when he sent you that text. First of all, therapy is a place where he probably got the idea to separate with you. When he sent you that text, he was probably expecting you to respond enthusiastically. And when you didn't, it probably shot his ego down. Going to therapy is a great way to work out your own problems - but it can also give you a sense that you are the most important person in your own life (NOT saying that this is what is going on). It just seems a bit insensitive to me that he kicks you out, then tries to reel you back in, especially on your birthday - you shouldn't have to deal with his crap on YOUR day! He probably thought you'd feel blessed and so utterly happy to have this guy who ended all contact to FINALLY contact you on your MOST SPECIAL day and tell you that he LOVES you. Oh, puke. It's selfish on his part. And you responded perfectly.

    Many times a guy who thinks he is the most important person in his life will kick a girlfriend (or anyone) out of his life to see how the girlfriend will react. They will get great satisfaction out of it. Then the guy will expect the girlfriend to keep trying to contact him so the guy can have power over her. When you didn't try to get in contact with him, he was probably hurt and shocked. So he left you a little effortless text message about his feelings. If he really felt that way, would he find that the most appropriate and sensitive way to contact you, considering your feelings and the circumstances? Uh, no.

    Him blocking you on Facebook is just his way of getting back at you for ignoring him. He fails to realize that ignoring him is what he wanted in the first place! Are you just supposed to be at his beck and call? No. You're supposed to move on with your life, and you did, which did not fit into his little I'm-a-victim charade. Congratulations to you! The way you handled the situation was really perfect - you tried to help him, you listened to him, you were polite, you exercised great willpower, and you moved on. It's natural to wonder why, in the face of your awesomeness, that he would be so petty. And it's because he realized he wasn't as awesome. Simple as that.

    p.s. You rock.

    • Thank you! It has been a while since I wrote this question, and I'm 95% over it now, but your answer was awesome :)

What Guys Said 6

  • Well something similar happened to me. Though my relationship wasn't 3 years long so it could mean something different in my case. But we were dating for 8 months and already living together. Then pretty much out of the blue she starts asking me if I'm Happy? Because she says that she's not. She feels like I'm pushing her away and that every time we were with my friends it seemed like to her that I was ashamed of her. I tried telling her I wasn't had a conversation and she says she has a lot of mixed feelings and needs Time and Space, and that she wants me to think about whether I really want her and her daughter in my life. First two weeks its very hot and cold one day she's texting me telling me she misses me and the next when I do the same she either ignored me or she'd say she needed more space. The week after, she text me a couple times "hey" "good night" "i miss scaring you" and I ignored her. Third day she says "good night again" about 30 mins later I still hadn't replied and she she comes at me with "So what are we not talking anymore?" (In my head I'm thinking I thought this is what you wanted?) but I waited and simply responded that I was busy and told her to sleep well. So week 4 rolls along and she texts asking if she can use my HBOGO account, we texted back and forth about Game of Thrones for the night. That was about two weeks ago and thats the last time we had talked about two and half weeks ago... Over that time period she liked a couple of my pictures I posted on Facebook. Yesterday I like a couple of pictures she he had posted and then she blocked me... I really dont know whats going on either, Did I do something wrong? I guess time and space means Facebook and social media too.

  • Hello,

    The answer is simple, your a temptation, he doesn't want to see things like your relationship status go from single to in a relationship with someone else, he wants to cut you off so he can get himself back in control..

    breakups are rough and the best way to get over them is to cut yourself off...

    Good Luck


  • My question is- why?:

    1. Seeing your account was a temptation to speak to you.

    2. He laments leaving, but is trying to "stay strong".

    3. To ease his own mind. Also to ensure that you didn't "reactivate" to talk to him.

    4. Other.

    These are my guesses, but really there's no way I could tell you; also being blocked on an website you don't visit that you pretty much suddenly reactivated when he's gone might be a good indicator as to why, also, you seem rather upset about it meaning there's probably a little more to it considering you agreed to the no-comm proposal he made.

  • Yeah he's f***in around with you because he can break up and get back with you whenever and wherever your his pushover. He knows what gets to you and will keep pulling your strings.

    • Why would malice be his goal if he's not exhibiting controlling behaviors?

    • Ay dude I didn't say anything about malice I don't know how many relationships you been through or how many times you fu cked around with but games are apart of it.

  • It's Facebook...he does not have any balls

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What Girls Said 12

  • maybe its not that he is trying to be a jerk maybe he just doesn't want you to be able to read his wall and see what he is doing I would run from this guy though asap the fact he will text you and tell you he loves you is a sign that he doesn't want to be with you but he wants you to be available to him when he wants you to be. That's not a very fullfilling relationship at all I have definately been through that I would show him that's not the way its gonna work your not gonna be there when it is convienent to him I would block him too make him sweat

  • My feeling is that he's probably trying to get a response out of you. An ex of mine does this all the time, because suddenly, he knows I don't have a way to just kind of see if he's doing okay, etc., and he knows the only way I'll be able to find out is by calling or emailing or something. Don't be fooled though -- just because he wants a response, doesn't necessarily mean he wants anything. It could just be a matter of stroking his ego. If he's a little messed up from losing a job, his self-esteem has probably been hit hard (I think that stuff is a bigger deal to guys than it is to girls, and they don't always know how to float with it -- that's not meant offensively, it's just that guys have that protector-instinct and feel the need to provide). You have two options. You can contact him -- just a very neutral email to say "Hey, it looks like you aren't using your Facebook anymore or maybe you blocked me, and I was just wondering if you're okay." But only do it once -- if he doesn't answer, or if he does and then unblocks you, but then does it again, don't play into it. Or you can just completely ignore him, give him that distance, pretend you didn't even notice and let him sleep in the bed he made for himself alone.

  • yeah one of my ex boyfriends did this to me and it just means they're too afraid to see your picture because they're trying to get over you. he's still feeling hurt or whatever from the break up but it's generally a sign he's cutting ties and saying good bye.

  • I am so sorry. My situation was like this: five months after the break-up, I post a comment right after my ex's on a mutual friend's note, and it was not even in response to his comment. I just really wanted to comment on that note, and not give a crap about what my ex would think. It took a lot of courage.

    And then he blocked me.

    I am saying I feel your pain, but I have no idea why he did what he did. I am glad to see that I am not alone, so I hope you can take comfort in knowing that you are not alone, either.

    • Fhat happened to me too with a guy I used to talk to he blocked me after I posted a photo of me and tagged his brother & other people, I don't know why he would do that I mean I wasn't bothering him but oh yall think hell unblock me again?

  • "space"should'nt that says something, just give him his space maybe he want an indefinate break but just give things some time.

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