Thinking of the girls my husband might find beautiful?

My husband and I have been having some trouble lately, and I mean serious trouble. For a couple of months he constantly complained that I was too needy and that I was smothering him by putting the label of "husband" on him and constantly thinking about future plans. On the other hand, I would find that he was ignoring me, acting superior, and that he was living his life as if he was 100% single, so why would I still want to be with him? Divorce has been mentioned multiple times, especially after he went to a music festival last week and would not shut up about a fantastic, independent, cool chick who had lived 1 year alone in India, smoked weed and was living a nomad lifestyle. I find nothing wrong with this lifestyle choice, but it is VERY different from who I am and I don't think I can ever be that "awesome" in his eyes.

After that, each time I see a beautiful girl dressing more informal or hippie-style, or beach-style, or smoking, or doing something slightly rebel I feel this incredible punch in my stomach, as if I know that as soon as he divorces me, he will be happy with that kind of girl. I feel extreme jealousy when he mentions the girl from the festival and I get very graphic when I feel this way. I imagine him having sex with those girls I see on the street, kissing them, touching their naked shoulders, and I swear I feel like I will vomit when this happens, tears start falling down my face instantly. I know this is not normal or healthy, but I do not know what to do about this or how to change this way of thinking. I was already insecure, but after he mentioned divorce multiple times and threatened to leave, and especially after mentioning that girl so many times, I cannot forget this feeling. Please help?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Im sorry your marriage is in trouble. How long have you been married? How long did you date before? Thinking back, were there no signs of this in him previously?
    If he's doing this in front of you, it's gonna be almost impossible to save your marriage. In his mind he's already replaced you... and I'm sorry. Give marriage therapy a try... if you truly want to save it.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You need to leave for your sanity

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