If you don't know my situation here's some info.1 lover was 53 and i am 23, lasted ten 10 months until i got a text saying he had a stroke.2 was on vacation when I got this.3 Got the serious itch to see where he's at.. but I know thats not correct and i need to let it go
- Go out and have fun :)20%(1)19%(4)Vote19%(3)
- You really slept with a 53 year old man? go get a hobby20%(1)19%(4)Vote19%(3)
- Tre tragic, wish him well and go out with friends0%(0)14%(3)Vote19%(3)
- Cry your eyes out until you have nothing more to cry40%(2)10%(2)Vote0%(0)
- Go out to a bar and look your best0%(0)0%(0)Vote0%(0)
- therapy will help0%(0)19%(4)Vote25%(4)
- this just seems like an excuse20%(1)19%(4)Vote18%(3)
Most Helpful Guy
When you care for someone or you love them deeply, it is difficult just to let them go no matter what’s happened to them, where they’ve gone, and even if they tell you they don’t want to see you anymore, because they don’t want you fretting, crying, stressed over their situation, because they know in their heart there’s nothing you can do to help. Some people don’t want to feel as if they’re being pitied.
They don’t want to be a burden to anyone, so if someone is terminally ill and they’re in a relationship with someone, it is not abnormal for them to break it off, because they feel the other person should more on. They’re trying to be empathetic to the one they care about or love, but due to their circumstances they don’t realize how what they do affects others; sometimes negatively, as in your case, because you don’t know how to move on from this and it affecting you emotionally and mentally, and it can lead to excess guilt and depression.
My advice to deal with this situation would start with the following: Have you done all you can do? Meaning, have you attempted with your best effort to make contact with him? Have you made your best effort to reach out to his family or find out where he’s at or how he’s doing? Have you made your best effort to determine if he wants to even see you or stay in contact with you? If you have done all this and you are sure you’ve followed all the leads you can and made your best effort to be there for him and still you haven’t been able to connect, then you have nothing, absolutely nothing, to feel guilty about. You’ve done your due diligence.
So then, how to move on from this situation and get on with your life? In my view, you cry and you cry, allowing your emotions to start the healing process. You can rant and rave to the sky, your favorite stuffed toy, to a friend, or someone else you trust, and you listen to what your heart is telling you; yes it hurts, but you did everything you could have done and more. You need to let go and get on with your life. You connect with family and you connect with friends. You allow them to be there for you and let them into your life and share the pain you’re dealing with.1
Most Helpful Girl
It was ten months. A relationship worth grieving for. Age doesn't matter really. Give yourself a chance to get the negative emotions out and start a new chapter with a clean page :) Big hugs1