Would this be stupid?

My ex and were friends for a bit but then my depression started to get the best of me and when we were hanging out last week he told me I was bringing him down and being super distant (which I started being distant because he showed me a snapchat he got from a girl and it was of her chest down fully clothed but said something like I was bored so I got my nips pierced) It made me jealous but as the night went I was I talking to him more but apparently I still seemed distant. I left late that night and apologized to him and he told me he didn't want to talk to me or ever see me besides at work (because I was supposed to start working where he does but I left before I started) and how he doesn't want to be around me because I'm so depressing. And I apologized and told him that I have been going through a lot (new town, moved out of my parents, finding a job, family dog died and we broke up) and he told me I was being annoying and pissing him off and to stop talking to him... So I'm doing just that but it's been almost 2 weeks since we last talked and I really really wanna talk to him again and he snapchatted my brother who he has only met once and they never talk and it's weird. It's like he's trying to get a reaction from me or something. I really wanna start talking to him again. Would it be dumb of me to?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Why do you want to go back to the person who doesn't make things any easier for you? Somebody please explain this to me? He also makes you jealous, sending showing you things an ex really shouldn't, especially i you're not over him. This is your taste in what a friend should be? If you're depressed, you really need to be around people who actually want something to do with you.

    However, I have two sides to this:

    1) It sucks to be depressed, and it's not something to play or laugh about. It's really serious and can take a toll on your mental health if not treated. So, I understand what you're going through.

    2) It's NOT fair at all for the people around you to be influenced by your depression. It can draw people away and exhaust them if every time they are around you, you are endlessly negative. It's just not fair. Instead, try to really LIVE instead of letting people see you as the victim of depression. I get that you're in a new town, moved out of your parents' place, and oh my gosh, a dog dying... Dogs are precious. But one way to handle depression is to face whatever is depressing you. If you're in a new town, GET OUT and get to know it. Find some little mom and pop restaurants, or parks, historic sites, and all those little fun things. As far as moving out of your parents' place, congrats on this new step. You are growing more independent by the day and you should be proud of yourself, but give yourself credit. You will need some time to adjust to this new chapter. As far as work goes, be friendly, have a smile on your face, and keep your private life to yourself. That means leave your depression and drama right at the door of your house and don't let it follow you to work. If he's around, pay no attention, unless you really have to socialize becuase of work. But make him miss you by the things I suggested, like smiling at people, and talking about only positive things. Cheer people on and support them.

    But at the same time, don't live for others, or have everything you do be for the sake of getting his attention. We all have chapters in our lives and sometimes not everybody can tag along. He may not be one of them.

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    • I don't ever talk about my depression nor do I ever complain about my life. Nobody even knows or knew I was depressed because I was always smiling and laughing. That day that we hung out I took him to buy his new car. While we were waiting for the salesman for about 30 mins my ex was on fb the whole time so I tried having small talk I was like 'that car is really cool, or the color of that one is nice.' and he ignored me the whole time and sat on fb.. Then later he was flipping through a mag and started going 'oohhh' at ads with bikini models and he showed me the snap for that chick. Should I of been all smiley and still happy he was trying to make me jealous and congrats he succeed. That day was the first time I told him I was depressed and he just decided I was too much of a burden and he didn't want anything to do with me. Why I want to be with him I don't know. As much anger he gave me there was just as much happiness too. ughh I don't understand it. I hate how I love him so much.

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    • Ugh I know but it's so hard to, besides my roommate he is the only other person I know in this area and my anxiety is too much for me to be comfortable to go out and about by myself. It doesn't help that my roommate just got into a relationship so all she does is talk about him or go out with him and I'm trying really hard to be happy for her and supportive but every time I see her with him I get jealous and start missing my relationship a lot more.

    • I think the best thing you need to do for yourself right now, is challenge and face your fears. Your anxiety and depression may cloud your judgement and decisions to where you'll either gravitate toward the wrong people, or you'll seek after the wrong things to make you feel better and insecure when they really don't solve your problems.

      Being independent is REALLY important becuase if somebody does step out of your life, at least you can dust yourself off and move on, instead of being clingy or a slave to that person. If you're uncomfortable about the new area, then only go out during the day, preferably the morning so you won't get bombarded with the traffic of rush hour.

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What Girls Said 1

  • He sounds like a jackass. Move on and find someone who will be supportive

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