So I was dating my girlfriend for about one year and I decided to move to her country to be with her.
I moved to the city where she went to College so we only met one time because she claimed she
was very busy. After that I lost my job so I had to move to another city. But we were very far apart.
She also didn't have very much money so she began to ask me for money to help pay for her College and for money to eat living expenses. I gave her the money because I loved her.
The long story short is I lived in her country for close to one year and we only met one time. She promised to meet me in her hometown before I went home for the summer. Right before I was supposed to meet her she told me she had to work in another city. I didn't believe her so I added a few of her friends on twitter. Then the next day I lied to her and told her to meet me in a train station in her hometown that night. She told me she had already left then said she was exhausted and broke up with me.
After she broke up with me I asked her could she pay me back. I felt like she deceived me because I think she was lying about not being in her home town. She called me a stingy selfish man and we haven't talked since then. So was I wrong to ask for the money back? Would you think your boyfriend is stingy and selfish if he did this to you?
Most Helpful Girl
My ex did that with me… lied to me and told me he was in financial difficulty and promised that he was only borrowing temporarily. He promised me that he'd return my money soon as he straightend out his stuff in advance so there was no confusion… because of this "financial difficulty" he also never took me out on a single date in our entire courtship and relationship and never spent any money on me. He came to my house, ate my food every day, I packed him frozen lunches each week and nothing in return and when he started talking about frivolous spending on HIMSELF I started asking hon do you think you can repay me my loan since I'm in a tight spot myself? He flat out disappeared.
I'm sorry for what happened to you. You didn't do wrong by asking for what was a loan… but, what both you and I did wrong was that we gave too much too soon without the other person having done anything to earn our trust. Not a single thing. My lesson from this and yours too is to allow the opportunity for trust to be built rather than giving it so freely… this is DIFFERENT from DISTRUST from the get go… be open to love but also be wise… and definitely don't offer support if you yourself can't support yourself. How can a drowning man save another? You have to save yourself first to be able to extend help to others… and that's how you find healthy as opposed to toxic love. She's a terrible person and she'll get her due karma. I'm sorry you had to experience that.0