I want to stay away from my ex, but I emotionally and physically just can't?

He's a very big part of my life and without him, I wouldn't have much interaction with anyone else.

But before anyone asks, I was the one to break up with him. He never wanted to break up. I just feel like we aren't going anywhere in the future and its a very up and down relationship that I just had to end it. Both of our feelings are still there. Thats why even after 50+ days of breaking up, we still end up having sex, holding hands, hugging, kissing, etc.

I dont want to be with him, I just dont know how to stay away..
It literally feels like we are addicted to each other.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • "Thats why even after 50+ days of breaking up, we still end up having sex, holding hands, hugging, kissing, etc." You basically didn't break up? :p

    Anyway, that's just normal considering the chemical things going on in your brain when you're dating someone. You are literally addicted and so is he. (I forgot about the details and the specific names but I think that @bearsanswers could tell you more about it if you kindly ask him)

    We all used to say "I wouldn't have much interaction with anyone else." before realizing it's not the case at all and we can feel the same intensity in terms of feelings with many different people. I used to say that to about my ex too though he was such a... yeah. Now I realize that I can feel the same excitement about other people.

    I just think that you have to accept it as a fact (the addiction) and that may help reduce the effect a bit.
    You can also just focus on other people you also care about but to whom you're not giving that much attention.

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What Guys Said 4

  • What do you want? do you want to get back with him?

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    • I really don't want to. But I can't stay away either

  • Meet some other guys, he'll get jealous and either leave or commit

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  • Try to get him to commit to you.

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    • He has no problem with that

    • Maybe bring up the idea of marriage to him? I think you still love him just try to figure out a plan to move your relationship forward or take it to the next step.

  • cause you haven't made any new guy "friends" yet. you need to move on, by actually moving on

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What Girls Said 7

  • You need to cut it off completely and start fresh. There's nothing more toxic than a roller coaster relationship that is stuck in limbo. Neither of you will go anywhere in your lives if you stay in this constant state of chaos. And frankly, it seems very unfair to him, since you are essentially leading him on by still being physical and emotionally involved with him after breaking up. You have to make a decision: either be with him if that's where your feelings truly lie, or permanently break up with him and cease all contact for good. Anything in between will just perpetuate the cycle.

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  • Fill your life with other people, and you will be too busy for him. Weigh the pros and cons of being with him. Tape it on your fridge. Tell a friend.

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  • You can't now because your still having sex with him and seeing the guy! So unless you halt everything you two are doing your not going to move on. At the end of the day, your just hurting yourself.

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  • You need to quit this pattern of behaviour immediately: If you keep seeing each other the inevitable will happen, as you described.

    You need to not make contact with each other, remove him from all your social media and other possible contacts.

    Do things that occupy your time and mind. Take up a new activity, make new friends, reconnect with old ones.

    If you know you don't want to be with him then you need to try to move on. Continuing to see each other after you have broken up is toxic and confusing to both parties.

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  • Coedependancy is one of the hardest patterns for a person to break. Google it and read up on the small things you can do to separate yourself this.

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  • You are having sex holding hands hugging and kissing and you think that's broken up? You have any idea how immature that sounds.

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  • Same here except I legally have to stay away. my mind and body just want to stay with him forever. everyone else is making up horrid accusations about him but they don't even know em. It's hard.. I feel ya.

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