Our friends with benefits ended over an argument about feelings, but I don't want it to?

So it started around two months ago. I want to point out that he got feelings for me first, he told me and I began to like him too. He asked to be more with me soon when we were both ready because he doesn't want to be friends with benefits with me forever. I agreed. About a month later I text him saying I enjoy his company and maybe we should start seeing each other more than just once a week to hook up and see how it goes because that's what he said he wanted and had been hinting towards for two months. Suddenly he said he doesn't know and he wanted to sort himself out first (he's on anti-depressants) before a relationship and he didn't expect to like me this much before freaking out and avoiding me for days.

Eventually he apologised and told me he was scared and he likes me but he can't afford to take me on dates and it makes him self conscious, that he's just scared of commitment and having to check in with somebody constantly, I told him I'm not like that and he seemed reassured. But we argued over him ignoring me today I just got fed up of it, and suddenly it was "I told you I don't want a relationship, you keep arguing with me like we are together." Bare in mind he is actually my ex from 3 years ago. Before saying he gives up and it's ended. He's now avoiding me again.

I wasn't forcing him into anything but he kept changing his mind about what he wants daily and I just wanted a straight answer, if he's the one who originally made it become more and then suddenly it's a no, then it's a maybe, I'm going to get confused, and now it's just ended because of miscommunication. What can I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • friends with benefits does NOT work

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What Guys Said 1

  • This is why i never do friends with benefits arrangements. It never, and i do mean never works. Someone always catches feelings.

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    • It was fine though because we both did and suddenly he changed his mind

What Girls Said 2

  • It ended because he can't commit to you. Not now. Not three years ago. Find another one.

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  • He's confused. So therefore you and the relationship are confused.

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