Why can't I stop cyberstalking my ex?

I was in an on again off again relationship for four years. She was a great girl, but every time we'd start talking about more, she'd ask for some kind of time frame. For example, I would tell her I wanted to marry her & she'd say something that I was unreliable because I'd left before (she says with no explanation) & why not discuss it in a year or two after we'd had a chance to build a stable relationship? I don't really know how to get mad, so I ignore her when she does something wrong. This time I ignored her for six weeks and by the time I was ready to talk, she had blocked me everywhere & her friends had too. I think that was kind of harsh. I mean, she was the one that made me mad, she had talked to a friend I worked with about our relationship & it got around my workplace. I started dating a coworker instead of trying to get her to talk to me because if she was going to be so unreasonable, I wasn't going to wait around for her.

But she has a blog. I read it every couple of weeks, which turned into every day. Sometimes two or three times a day. She doesn't talk about me, us, the relationship. It's like I never mattered to her! She talks about career, work life balance, fitness. Her tweets are just nature shots or funny work anecdotes. Well, she found out & basically wrote something about how people who cannot talk about their problems shouldn't lurk in people's lives. Then I couldn't find it. She changed the name. The URL. All of the redirects. It took me a month to find it again! I've only looked at it once this week. Mostly stuff about her birthday.

I've read articles that say it's normal to look up an ex & since she's blocked me on social media, reading her blog is totally normal. But one of my friends found out & accused me of stalking her, being obsessed with her, and that I need to go to therapy & also go tell this girl that I'm still in love with her.

But this is normal, right?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i wuldnt call it "normal" but its defintely not unheard of.
    u just gotta find someone else to focus on. u need to move and engage in something or someone else.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You dont sound crazy or bitter. You sound confused.

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    • That could make sense. I mean, she is the sweetest person. And she loves me & keeps forgiving my crap. But why can't I make it work with her? Everyone says I don't try. I don't tell her what's bothering me & bottle things up. But it's way too late to fix it now. She's probably furious.

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    • Fuck man i feel like im talking to my clone right now. Honestly i got no advice bro. Id say fuck it but thats probably what has you on a destructive path.

    • Glad to know I'm not the only one who does this. She's blocked my calls, social media, all my friends too. She even transferred at her job to make me happy again & I still didn't talk to her. She tried so hard, would call me & beg on my voicemail & I just ignored her, thinking it would go away. And now she's fine. Even when she gave me a chance to talk a month ago, I ignored her because I didn't know what to say. I distance myself but then I HAVE to know where she is, how she is.

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What Girls Said 2

  • She sounds forgiving and understanding. Talk with her.

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    • I don't even know what we'd talk about.

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    • I don't think so. I think she's just really hurt. I keep hoping that if I ignore it long enough, I'll just forget her.

    • I hate to break it to you, but that's not going to happen. So now, that you are pretty certain she's hurt and not afraid of you, why not try to write her?

  • Its normal to check out your ex once and a while. It does seam that you are still in love with her though.

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    • Why would you say that? My friends all say the same thing. But if I loved her, I wouldn't get mad at her about little things.

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    • But then why can't I bring myself to talk to her?

    • Because your afraid to face the chance she has.

What Guys Said 0

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