Hi everyone! I'm in need of some advice.
Like all relatiobships they start off blissful. I've Been with my boyfriend who I love dearly for 8 months. However I find myself second guessing our relationship. I question - should I be in it? For the lack of better words I feel like I'm distancing myself and I don't want to. I don't want to hurt him if I do but I know I will. I don't even know my reason to break up. It's so confusing. He's literally everything I wanted in a person, so I feel guilty for doing this. Do you think this is just me over thinking this?
Most Helpful Guy
I understand your frustration. It can be difficult to sort out emotions and here is why.
You can’t, not really. We have been taught to believe that we can understand reasons, that there even ARE – reasons – for all behavior. So, when someone breaks up with us, or does anything, at any time, they can demand to know the *reason* and if we don’t have one, well, then our actions are not “valid”. So, no breakup.
But there really are no reasons and it’s totally okay for you to feel like you feel. You don’t owe him anything, nor his father. How far would you go to “be there for him”? If his father passed, then his uncle has some problems etc. Would you marry him for that? No, right?
You want to be you, as much of the time as possible. Try this little experiment. Try imagining yourself floating around in space, looking down n earth. Now, tell me about your problems, and his, and your mixed emotions. Tell me, do you want him, or not? No strings, just you, choosing what’s best for YOU.
He will be just fine, and so will his father. Don’t try to sa ve the world, just do what makes you happy.
You said something brilliant which I want to comment on: you said “like all relationships, it started off blissful”. The reason is that in the beginning, we tend to focus our attention on the best sides of the other. And of course, he is too and both of you were on your best behvrior.
Then after a while, you both relax a little and you start focusing on other things. And this is a crucial moment: can you keep focusing on the best sides of him even when he displays other, less pleasing ones as well? See, you are meant to be happy and loving; there is no other reason to be here. Breakup or no breakup, focus on loving him. Think of when you were first together, how awesome it was.
It may be over, but you should only leave with a sweet taste in your mouth. What you shared, and always will have shared, is love.
My very best wishes and best of luck.
Most Helpful Girl
Why are you second guessing? Is it at random times or does something trigger this thought?1