Why does my ex still contact me?

Ok, so I know that I am probably not the first person to ask this question, but any advice I receive would be appreciated, so me and the jerk were together for 2 years in which I played the role of sucker and he played the role of cheater, and yet I loved him to the depths of my soul, we broke up because God finally hit me in the head with a hammer and told me to wake up, he decided to move to a city with the girl that her was cheating on me with, all the time I still loved him deeply, I didn't hear from him for 8 months, I was over the pain of the breakup but it still hurt, and now these past few weeks, he has been sending emails and IM's saying how much he has missed me, he has spent nights crying thinking about me, but he is still with her, he apologized for hurting me but says that he wants to stay in touch to see how things are going and so that we can be friends, so my question is, Does he have ulterior motives and he wants to keep me in pain and on the back burner in case they don't work out ? or is he being serious in his feelings and I should try to have a friendship with him, without wishing that he would burn in hell, I tired asking him and he says I'm being paranoid.


Most Helpful Girl

  • For starters YOUR NOT being paranoid. There are two part's to my answer first I DO think he may have ulterior motives this goes back to you wondering if he's just trying to keep you on the back burner in case things don't work out with him and his current ''newbie''. I don't by the whole he spent nights crying thinking of you. . Where were his tear's when he was hurting you ? Ugh . .Some guys suck because they ALWAYS know what they want , but are 2 damn selfish to see what's real and then its our faults. He knows he didn't want to be with you , he knows it hurt ,( You) but you asking question's makes you paranoid , some damn nerve. Why the hell is he telling you he misses you now ? Is the grass not greener ? Does he think your world still revolves around him ? Second part to my answer probably wouldn't be defined as a question , more of a comment / question . First what do you want ? Can you see this man being back in your life ? If you still can Why ? And seriously consider every reason possible. And second because he seems to be being sneaky ( I mean he does have a girl) do you really want to be the girl who dishes with someone Else's guy ? I'm not saying something is going to happen , but he seems like he has a few trick up his sleeves . Be careful, but be smart.


What Guys Said 2

  • With people like this you have to take a look at their track record and think whether or not you have any reason whatsoever to trust them. Forgive and Forget will get you the role of the victim in this case.

    He is trying to keep you close because he knows you were very strongly attracted to him and he wants to use that to his advantage so he can have a fall back should he need someone to go to, to use and abuse without having to earn their trust first.

    I have too many friends that have had the same crap happen to them with ex's that are abusive. The only way they can ever hurt you again is when you let them back into your life. If they treated you like garbage before they'll probably do it again. If you haven't heard from them in months and you get an email from them, delete it and mark it as spam. If they call you don't pick up, and if they I'm you block them. These are the kinds of people you want to maintain contact with.

    • Thank You so much, it was really hard to let him go, but I learned that I played the fool once but I'll never do it again, I appreciate it.

  • id have to say move on with this one. if he cheated on you the whole time that you were together he just still talks to you for specifically keeping you on the back burner for when they no longer work out. after all you were with him for 2 years before it ended, he might think he has some sort of idea that you'll always take him back no matter what he does. and if so that could be bad news


What Girls Said 2

  • ummmm given your history and what you said about him, seems like he's probably trying to keep you on the back burner. yah people can change and there's a slight chance that he really DOES mean all the things that he says. but - for starters - if her did, wouldn't he break it off w/his current girlfriend and do his best to prove to you how much you mean to him? he's not doing that at ALL, which makes me think he's just hedging his bets in case it falls thru w/his current girlfriend. or if he wants something on the side. ignore him and continue to move on!

    *good luck!*