Is it easier for guys to get over their first love and hide their emotions?

My boyfriend and I broke up after 2 years. Neither of us wanted to but we had to part ways mutually because I was leaving for university. We were amazing togther and I was his first love. He even said I made him believe in falling in love. We were very clear on still being friends and agreed to not talk for around a week after.

After 2 weeks of NC, he set up a meeting with all my girlfriends and I to meet, he didn't tell me anything directly, he doesn't even like any of them. When he did turn up, he just didn't want to be alone for too long with me and kept the other girls around. He seemed to be overfriendly with them and when I tried to walk him out he didn't seem to happy. Before leaving he kept mentioning we 'all' need to meet up again and that he wanted to go out with us 'all' on his birthday. He also tried very hard to make it seem like he was here to meet all of us and not just me. He hugged me in a friendly way and left saying bye with a huge smile.

Before he came to meet we spoke on the phone and he was normal as if nothing happened. When I asked him if it ever hurts a lot that he can't take it he was just being all casual saying I dont think about it , stop thinking about it it'll go away and all. He hates when I bring up the break up and acted like he didn't even know how long its been since we broke up. it really hurt.

Its like our relationship meant nothing to him because its so easy for him to just shove it away. When he kept talking about his new school it just seemed like his life is much better now that im gone. Our relationship was really beautiful and the day before we broke up he broke down on the phone because he didn't want to lose me. Now he's just being all normal. did he ever really mean anything when we were together, because he is so good at being so, weirdly normal and practical about it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If u think he's not hurt, u are pretty slow. He doesn't want to be alone with u coz it reminds him of ur relationship and the fact that he's still not over it. He lied bcoz sometimes its easier to say a lie that hurts u than to say a truth that hurts u.

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    • I called him two days later because I had some news about my applications and he answered and seemed normal but then said he had some work and he'd call back and never did..

    • It's incredibly easy for guys to lie so keep an open mind.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Realize that everyone deals with grief differently. I think on a deep level he's just as hurt as you. He just doesn't let his mind go there. It's called denial.
    He's saying, "If I pretend hard enough that it didn't happen, then it can't hurt me."

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  • He is moving on , as it's over between you. Men are more emotionally detached than women are , to the more logical male mind it's a case of " It's over , can't do anything about it , I need to get on with my life " , also a man is seen as " weak " if he pines & mopes after a relationship has ended.

    Also men are not desired , unlike women , women have far more options than men do , men are generally the ones dumped / divorced in relationships , men HAVE to be harder hearted , in order to survive in life , on top of all this too , men also have no support networks & close friendships that most women do , we are on our own in life. Hopefully this gives you some insight !!

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    • Yes it does thank you. I'm just not used to him being this way with me and I dont want to create a negative image of him in my mind because of his ability to be all normal around me in some way

  • not for me.

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What Girls Said 3

  • You need to understand that he's trying to move on, and you keep bringing shit up. Let him be; he's obviously trying to move on. Overall, the relationship failed for a reason no matter how you look at it. I'm sure he cherishes the relationship and the memories, but the man is trying to move on. Leave him alone already and move on.

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    • He is the one who wants to keep meeting not me? I brought up the break just once but after that everything was normal and I was just sharing normal stuff with him

  • He feels betrayed, u put uni before the love of your life and now he's all settled for a great revenge, he wants to show u how fine he's doing without u cuz he thinks that u let him go so easily, u should tell him that you're not over him at all just as he is not over you yet too, he is just acting it out..

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    • No he was the one who suggested this, we always knew from the beginning I was going to leave. Before he was all keen about long distance until he spoke to his family about it and realised that we're too young and dont wanna be tied down

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    • How do u know he has started anew life? The fact he doesn't want to mention the a
      break up is obviously a sign that he hasn't got over it at all, why don't u go into the game and make him feel jealous as well?

    • Because I don't want to pull him down, he's an amazing person and I still want him as a friend I can't lose him as everything he ever was to me. It's just so hard to be treated like a friend by the guy who treated me like his queen

  • In my experience, I've actually thought guys tend to have a harder time getting over their first loves than do girls. Of course, this can't be the case ALL of the time.

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