I (30M) was in a 11 month relationship with this girl (28F) I've known for about 5 years. We had got to the point where we started saying I love you, how lucky we were to be with each other, and talked half-seriously about our future together. Then she dumped me after I yelled at her, for the first time, during a fight. She was PMDDing (very bad periods) and jumped all over me and said some mean things. She has a history of abuse and I guess the yelling (not screaming at the top of my lungs) really scared her. I was not physically aggressive towards her just very frustrated. I also swore a bit but only in the context of "sometimes you make me feel like a f'ing idiot." Never swore towards her or name called. She started becoming more and more distant and then dumped me after I called a talk to fix the relationship. We have been no contact, which I said was necessary to protect myself from being more hurt by her, for six weeks. I still think about her way too often and am deeply depressed 95% of the time. Yelling at her was just me having bad day and trying to stand up for myself. Now it's the biggest regret of my life.
I wrote the following as a cathartic release for yelling at her. Should I keep it to myself? It is a little too long so I posted it on reddit and you can view it there.
Most Helpful Girl
I don't need to view your letter. Send it, live with no regrets. You can't guarantee she will read it, but chances are she will. If she truly loved you, it is a shame that this break up happened after one fight, you might want to re-think this relationship. If the letter does bring her back to you, have some serious discussions about what is acceptable behavior, and always RESPECT one another... I wish you luck, but again. Life is short, take risks, you either end up happy, or wise, one or the other...0
Most Helpful Guy
She can let loose with the excuse of PMS and shred you but you respond to that and you are in the wrong? This feels like groveling and, despite your words to the contrary, it sounds like you are trying to get her to come back to you.
Reunite and this scenario will recur, probably with the same result.0