Long term boyfriend is cheating. How do I approach it?

I've been with my boyfriend almost 6 years, he's 40 and I'm 30, and we have a baby boy born July 2015. The last few months he's been going out and staying out all night and in the last 3 months he's spent 6 nights somewhere else, in 5 years together he's never not come home. He says he's at a friend's or buddy's and that he drank too much and passed out, etc. Obviously I'm suspicious but I didn't think he would actually be cheating on me but I went through his Facebook and found video chats with this girl he worked with last summer and I worked with them to, we worked for the same company. I didn't find any messages that said anything just said 25 min video chats and she sent him a message on there last Friday telling him to text her phone. I don't know what to do because he works lots and I work part time. He had two other kids from a previous relationship and we have them every weekend and I watch them while he works and then I watch them when he goes out, which is been quite often lately. I do everything for him and our home and currently his car is broken down and he's been using my truck which leaves me without a vehicle. I feel so betrayed and disrespected. We're on a lease in our house and I can't afford to live on my own and all my family lives 6 hours away. I won't want to tell him I snooped through his stuff and that's how I know but I don't know what to do. I wish I had mode valid proof. I just don't know how to approach the situation and I need to leave and it's took me awhile to catch on but I don't know how to deal with it.


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What Guys Said 1

  • u should ask a good WISE friend because they know more about ur situation and possibly ur spouse and his personality

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What Girls Said 2

  • Girl...

    The first thing I want to know, here, is what the dynamic of this relationship -- and the way *you* approach this relationship in general -- is like.

    Specifically:

    1)
    How often do you say NO to this man?
    How often do you say NO in general... to anyone?

    2)
    How often do you actually talk with this man about what YOU want?

    3)
    What percent of the time do you make decisions with HIM in mind?
    What percent of the time does HE make decisions with YOU in mind?
    (I have a bad, bad feeling that the answer to the second one is 0 percent)

    __

    I mean... It's easy for me to say what the best advice is, here:
    His ass needs to be AT HOME, with his BABY.

    When we had newborns or 1-2 year-olds... Shit girl.
    Not only did neither of us almost *ever* have the opportunity to go out for more than a couple hours -- but, the only reason we even got adequate sleep was that we're on different sleep schedules (= at least one of us is pretty much always awake, no matter what time it is).

    I mean... Fuck no.
    If I had to lose sleep with a baby because my man was gone to I-don't-even-know-where? Haha I would RAGE on him. I might even get physically violent.
    This is all totally golden rule, too -- if HE had to lose HIS sleep because MY ass had disappeared somewhere mysterious, I'd expect big trouble myself.

    But... That's not my main point.
    The point is... I'm wondering how you've even gotten to a situation where he thinks it's okay to do this.

    In any case -- if you don't mind, I'm curious about the answers to those 3 things, up there.

    Also, you should tell this man that when it comes to being a father... either he's in, or he's out.
    If he doesn't want to be HOME and helping to take care of HIS BABY... then, you should be perfectly willing to leave him.
    ... With YOUR truck.

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  • @redeyemindtricks can you offer this person your opinion pls? :*
    I have no relevant life experience in this area lol

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