My boyfriend had all the talks of having a future with me and then randomly ends things three days later?

Okay. So before I get into my story, both of us are 21, I know that's young but things were going really well on both ends.

So my boyfriend and I have been together for around a year and have been official for seven months. Everything seemed to be going great, everyone thought we were perfect together. I have never once pressured him into settling down, it was always him who had talks of the future with me.

We got in an argument this past Sunday due to a past fling texting him while he was drunk and I had said I was done. I didn't want to compete with another girl because I know I deserved better than that. The following day when he was sober, he cried and begged and pleaded me back. He said no other girl could ever compare to me, no other person meant as much to him as I did, and I was the only one he wanted in his future.

so I forgave him and said we could work through it.

fast forward three days later and he says he can't do it anymore. He can't be in a committed relationship. He doesn't know what he's doing with his life with school and work, and basically had a meltdown.

What in the world am I supposed to do? This completely came out of nowhere. Everything was fine! I keep re-reading the messages from Sunday and see how heartfelt they appeared to be. And he turns around and does this. he's always always been an indecisive person but everyone thought he had changed and grown up because of me. Even his friends were completely shocked when I went to them to get advice.

I really need some more advice. Do I just let him go?



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What Guys Said 2

  • 1. Did the ex text him first? Did he respond with anything other than "please don't text me?"

    2. It sounds as if he is reconsidering the previous relationship and whether that is a better option for him. He is not committed to you; if he was, he would have blocked the ex and this never would have happened. Do you really want someone who doesn't know if he really wants you? Let him go!

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    • They never dated, it was a hookup. And yes she texted him first saying "so you and your girlfriend are fighting?"

  • The other woman's text obviously got his imagination going and threw his resolve into turmoil. I think you hit the nail on the head about him changing and growing up… He's immature; he doesn't know what he wants.

    He may be back in a few more days when he realizes what he had and lost. Have a response ready.

    Personally, I wouldn't put up with any more of it. Grown up men know what they want.

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    • He's done this once before when we first started dating, and was back a week later so I don't think he'll come back again, do you?

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    • No... I want a wholehearted and committed relationship. I do. I just don't see how he can cut me out of his life and do a complete 180 flip in the span of a few days. I just don't get it. And I feel like he doesn't realize what he's letting go. His friends and family thought I was so good for him..

    • It takes a special brand of immaturity to be that fickle. I don't doubt that his family liked you. They know what he's like. So you represented his growing up. And you probably gave him that sense of how cool it is to be in such a relationship. And they saw that, too. It's really too bad. I agree he doesn't realize. I think he *will* realize. But if you get back together, I think he'll once again realize what he's missing outside of your relationship. Unless he really grows up. Sorry you're going through this.

What Girls Said 1

  • I can't answer what's on his mind. It's obvious he's unclear about his current relationship. Maybe he needs some reassurance. Don't keep re-reading the past messages! Ask him why, why and WHY! There's a chance he might say "I don't know", but then I can't help you with that. You have to reassure him and hope that he knows what he wants. If he continues to wander around like a lost puppy, then I suggest you move on from him. You wouldn't wanna be in a wandering, unstable rs. I believe you want a firm and stable rs eh?:)

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