My boyfriend wants to break up cause I asked him to delete a girl he just met off facebook?

He only met her 2 weeks ago and she was making hints that she likes him. I made it clear to my boyfriend it isn't him I don't trust but it's the female cause she just looks like the sort of slut who would come on to a guy with a girlfriend

We've been together 3 years, so why would he basically choose breaking up with me over deleting her.

I only asked him aswell, not like I'm making him do it

I've heard so many bad things about relationships being broken because of Facebook, and I don't want that to happen to us


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "I only asked him as well, not like I'm making him do it"

    Your approach was not great (and it's a very common thing that a lot of people do). Don't ask him to do things like this (and certainly don't TELL him) - rather, tell him how it MAKES YOU FEEL when he does things like adds a hot girl on FB, and then give him a chance to explain - and LISTEN to what HE says too.

    Either of you are allowed to decide if an issue becomes big enough to break up over - but if you're going to be in a relationship, you need to respect each other (and the relationship!) and you have to be able to communicate with each other.

    Either your communication has broken down (you're talking - but not listening - to each other) or you've hit upon an issue that you simply can't agree on, and if you can't reach a compromise that you can both live with, then you SHOULD break up, or at least get some counseling by a third party who can help each of you see where you could be doing more to help the relationship.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First off, Facebook doesn't break people up, it's peoples actions that break people up.

    Second off, nobody would like what he's doing..

    Third, I literally just answered a question the other day with a girl having a guy best friend and all the guys said she shouldn't and her boyfriend would have a right to not like it. I answered laughing how guys say that, but when it's the other way they say the girl is a crazy jealous girlfriend. And see here, all saying you should let him have this random new female friend who likes him. Ridiculous. Your boyfriend is disrespectful for doing that. If you met a guy who liked you and stayed in contact with him, everybody would be telling you it's wrong of you, but this way round is ok? Hell no. I don't know a woman that would accept that, and barely know any guys who would to that to their girl.

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What Guys Said 14

  • You shouldn't tell him who he can be friends with, you don't control his life. What you're doing is abuse.

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    • But I asked him, didn't tell.

  • No, you showed him that you didn't trust HIM. She can come on to him all she wants, it doesn't mean he's going to fuck her. But you don't trust HIM, so you're worried about this.

    He was right to break up with you. You administered a shit-test, and he passed it.

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  • Honestly, it's a bit of a red flag to me when a girlfriend tells me to start deleting people from my circle of friends

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    • He only met her 2 weeks ago though, and he told me they never spoke other than her making comments to him that she likes him

    • Don't you trust him enough to not have anything come of it?

  • I think he knows her more than he's letting on that's why he's so defensive about it, I think it's time to call it quits.

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  • Holy shit 3 years and he broke up with you for that, something tells me he is into the girl

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  • well maybe thats your out. because there is clearly something going on if he's making it such a big deal. I wouldn't trust him if i were you.

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  • Too late, it already started. This just accelerated something that was lying dormant. Sounds like you both have trust issues TBH.

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  • You shouldn't decide who he has as a friend, there's more to it though from how defensive he is getting but then he might see it as you don't trust him or controlling, if he is going to cheat or anything to happen you can't stop it, but from what you've said it's sounds like you don't trust him and feel insecure about the girl

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  • Holy shit 3 years and he broke up with you for that, something tells me he is into the girl

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  • You're bad ass. Keep it up. Keep your SO in check

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  • You've immediately shown clingy behavior. That's why he wants to break up.

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  • Like many other have said I think it's him you don't trust. Just because she may have an interest in him doesn't make her a slut, if that were true, then by your premise you're one as well. He has to decide himself what he's going to do if something like that ever comes up. What's more important? If a person is going to cheat they're going to do it regardless, what's not to say he already has her number. Some how I doubt that you just came out asking him to delete her, I think there was a little more to it than just that. That's just my experience w women, especially ones in your age category based on insecurity. I think men tend to have more loyalty to their friends compared to women regardless if their friend is a male or female.

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    • He only just added her today that's why it came up, I asked why he's adding someone who fancies him who he told me he had no interest in being friends with, that's when I asked him to delete her. What I mean is on her pictures she's dressed in slut clothes, and she has a kid and just seems like someone who would come on to him

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    • You should be more truthful to your girl then, honesty is key. I can't not tell him that it upsets me, because I'm an honest person and I will say what I think

    • I'm not honest about cause honestly the chances of me meeting her as well as the chances of her spreading her legs for me as astronomical so it's what you would call a little white lie. But than to I'm talking along the lines if I was single. But this isn't about me, it's about the two of you. Honestly I think there is a little something there, whether he really is interested in her or just likes the attention it's something. You're not going to risk losing your girl of 3 years if you had no interest in her at all.

  • it really depends on the nature of there friendship and why exactly they want to get to know each other. sometimes facebook ads are harmless and other times they can cause more trouble

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  • It's the principle. even though you say it's her you don't trust, he's hearing you don't trust him to make the right decision should she make some kind of move.

    That being said I don't agree with him on either point.

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What Girls Said 15

  • So he adds people he barely knows then defends them over his girlfriend---aye right then! Believe that believe Anythin...

    Let him have his cake because it seems he's on verge of getting rid so u get in there first... as much as ud love to place all blame on her he's obviously encouraging it otherwise he'd have deleted her or not added her at all

    Don't argue u get in first.. why? Because if he values this girl he's only known 5 mins (((allegedly))) over you then it's over. Don't be a doormat.. get your stuff together, arse n gear sneakers on and off u go and never look back.

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  • Guys sounds like he maybe into this girl. Why else would he just get upset and break things off with you. I don't know about this guy. Sounds snealy to me. And when the female was flirting with him, he should of not replied, or stated that he had a girlfriend not do anything and entertain that mess. Sounds like you may have a womanizer on your hands.

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  • :/ sorry to know that and also sorry to say this but if he actually tells u that he wants to break up coz of THAT reason (and then say its your fault coz u are "bossing him around" ) then you deserve someone better. Like wanting to break up after 3 years for some girl he met... thats not a good sign. He could've talked with you about it instead of asking to break up (did he?)

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    • If he really likes her he should listen to her and respect her wishes , if it's something she's not happy with then if you love you would surely want to do that?

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    • @Ydude yeah true, if he truly loves her he shouldn't have had a problem with that. Or at least he would try to find some solution instead of getting mad at her. Coz she clearly isn't the one to blame here. Tbh he shouldve stopped that girl when he saw that she's flirting... but he didn't. And he got mad when she confronted him. Red signs right there

    • @Asker you deserve someone who will make you as his priority

  • Wait a minute, so you said something along the lines of "you know, im not sure if i trust her, i'd like you to consider deleting her from your account" and his response was..."im done, we're breaking up"

    Somehow that doesn't seem like what really happened. But if it is, id say you are better off without him.

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    • He has anger issues

    • Honestly, let it go. Let him go do his own thing, you are better off without this one.

      I think it's ok for you to question facebook stuff, but i don't think it's ok for you to give ultimatums about what he does and doesn't do there. So if you were just suggesting it and he blew up like that... walk away and don't go back.

  • More than likely he is upset by your insecurity. If you trust him like you say you do, you shouldn't care if he has her on Facebook or not. She can say or do what she wants, but if you trust him, you know that he won't do anything and he'll even tell her to back off. You can say you don't trust her all you want, but you obviously have some trust issues with him too. I'm guessing he is offended that you feel this way and he is annoyed by your jealousy. You say you don't want Facebook to break up your relationship, but you are letting it. You shouldn't feel so insecure about some girl on his Facebook. In the end, it's just a website and it doesn't mean anything.

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    • The fact it's just a website makes me wonder why he can't just delete her though, I do have insecurities, and I do worry maybe one day he will leave me for someone else, cause I'm seeing that happen everywhere (friends, films, tv, celebs)

    • You should be a priority to him (I mean hell 3 years together over some random he just met)

  • I have a feeling there is more to this that you're leaving out...

    Who is she and how did he meet her? Has she actually done anything to cause you to think she's trying to pull moves on him? If you trust him, why are you worried about her being his fb friend?

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  • BOY BYE.

    You deserve better than a man who finds an irrelevant Facebook girl more important than respecting your feelings.

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  • Delete her = don't trust you
    It's not your place to decide that.

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  • He's being a total aashole.

    Two options: delete your Facebook so you don't have to see what he does on fb.
    Or break up with him cuz that's just shitty that he's choosing some slut on Facebook over YOU

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  • You're being controlling and acting insecure. That's a huge turn off/dealbreaker for a lot of people (not only guys, trust me). Jealousy isn't cute.

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    • I was just asking him though, when he said no, I said something along the lines of "please, I don't want her to flirt with you cos that would upset me" I do have insecurities, and knowing a female is flirting with my boyfriend would make me feel really upset, I have bad anxiety issues too

  • Was he being suspicious before this?

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  • you dont trust him. You shouldn't have been so worried about him talking to her.

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  • Yeah, it seems like he's into this girl.

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  • "It's not him I don't trust, BUT..." is a definite sign that you don't trust him. You either believe he has enough discipline or self-control to stay faithful, or you don't. So while you may have said that you trust him, your actions prove otherwise. Also, acting judgmental towards a girl you don't even know is insecure, and both of those things are major turn offs for most guys. There was probably more behind the break up than just you asking him to unfriend someone. He may have just been done with the relationship. :(

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    • BUT ITS THE FEMALE

    • That response only holds water if she is raping him at gunpoint. Otherwise, it's still your level of trust in him. Especially on Facebook. He can ignore or scroll past any post or pic he wants to. And like I said, if you aren't insecure, who she is shouldn't bother you. Are you honestly saying that you have zero hot guy friends on FB that he might consider suspect?

  • he's into her for sure he's full of shit!!

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