Made same mistake more than once. How can I stop beating myself up?

I recently was dating an awesome person and long story short, I wrecked my chances with them and turned them off completely. It's unfixable, trust me.

If this mistake was something I had never learned about before, I'd just say "I just didn't know any better, but now I know, no big deal." But unfortunately, I did learn this lesson in the past, but forgot to apply it to my life and really practice the lesson I learned. As a result I ended up ruining it with this person because I repeated the same mistake twice.

I'm incessantly telling myself that I deserved it and that I am now missing out on this amazing person because of it.

Has anyone else ever been in this situation? Please tell me I'm not the only one. I want to know that there are others who have experienced making the same mistake more than once and feeling that they missed out on a great opportunity.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • What was the mistake if you don't mind me asking?

    I can sorta relate, but it was more or less of making a mistake with the type of person I was dating. I got rebounded my first time a couple years ago and after it ended, it hurt dearly and I'd say I'd never do it again.

    This year I got rebounded again, but didn't find out until after the first date that she was newly single. Since we had a lot in common, I still gave it a shot and went at her place. I acted a lot different than how I did with the previous rebounder but still got screwed over. I didn't beat myself up but I felt the same pain I did as a few years ago but worse.

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    • Thanks for most helpful guy

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, first, own it. You didn't "forget" to apply whatever this mistake was, you just chose not to do it. Let's not make excuses.

    Second, maybe you did deserve it. But hey, life goes on. I promise this is not the only amazing person you'll ever meet.

    I have not been in this situation. I thought I had been but I wasn't and I learned later in life that, even though I kind of messed it up, he wasn't compatible for me anyway. All you can do is just move on and not repeat it again. But also remember that you're human and just because you make a mistake once, doesn't mean you won't again, and, if you do, there's nothing wrong with it. We're imperfect. Just move on.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • well you are human so you are prone to make mistakes. so rather than beat yourself off work on finding a way to alter your behavior

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  • Yes, I've done that. It's up to you to learn from the experience and avoid repeating it.

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  • No one is perfect. Because you repeated the same mistake twice, it just shows you are human. Now you have all the more reasons to learn from it, as you have seen the results twice. But don't feel bad about it. Move on and try again with someone else, live and learn and don't feel bad about it. Have done the same, and felt the same first time but i got over it and kept goin.

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  • What did you do?

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What Girls Said 1

  • What is it that you did that was so bad? If you believe she is an amazing person you have to step up and be an amazing person as well. Sitting back and letting what may be a simple fix shows that you are not trying. Step up and own your mistake. Everyone is human and makes mistakes. Someone once told me if you make a mistake it doesn't mean you are a bad person. If she is as amazing as a person that you say she is, give her a chance to forgive you and I am sure she will understand. If not at least you can say you tried right?
    I know the feeling trust me. The day you find out that she has moved on and it could have been you with her you will regret it more than you are now.

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