What does he want from me?

My boyfriend (30) and I (28) broke up about 4 months ago due to commitment issues on his side. We were together for a year and a half, which was happy times 80 % of the times but the other 20% he always left me wondering where our relationship was going. We did long distance for a while which we made work and making efforts from both sides ( More from my side than from his, his efforts was after I had gotten sad or mad that he didn't care to visit. He also seemed to reply on my messages when he felt like it, and when I asked him why I barely seem to hear from him over weekends he would ask me why I'm so needy.). We ended up breaking up due to the fact that he decided to take a job even further away, without offering a solution / considering me and my feelings and saying : "You can look for a job there if you want, but you are doing it at own risk. I can't promise you that it will work out. What If another 5 years go by and I'm still not ready for marriage?"
Strange thing is, even though I know what you're going to tell me I am still heartbroken, I still miss him, I still try to fix things after being pushed away numerous times. And I do this because I love him with my whole heart, I also adore his family. I asked him about a week ago how he felt about us at the moment, and about me and he said that I should know the answer due to the fact that I am the only one he has ever taken home to meet his family. I am extremely confused, hurt and I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm fighting a losing battle alone.
I really need advice from a guy's perspective. At this stage I am also considering going cold turkey, deactivating my Facebook for a while to heal without seeing his pictures, posts or just anything which can lead to overthinking. Would this be childish?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You know, you should do whatever provides better therapy for you. You say you know what people are going to say, so you undoubtedly already know the right thing to do. So because of that, I'm going to tell you the wrong things to do. The wrong thing would be to keep emotionally investing in this guy who clearly doesn't value you nearly as much as you value him. If you stay with him, you're always going to be behind everything else in his life whether it's work, his family, his friends, his job, or his goldfish. The wrong thing would be continuing to give him more chances when he inevitably contacts you again to try to rekindle the mini-relationship that's so convenient for him.

    There are no doubt a million guys out there who are more than ready to date you and treat you like you're worth their time energy. The wrong thing would be to pass on them over a guy who probably hasn't thought about you all evening.

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