Deployed boyfriend broke up with me suddenly?

My boyfriend and I have been together A year. Our relationship was healthy, we trusted each other, spent most of our free time together and were best friends. He told me he loved me after a few months. I am his first serious girlfriend. We had already done a 3 month training with him in Korea. This is both of our first deployments. He is a ranger in regiment so his deployment would only be A few months. He talked about being excited to finally get to do what he's been training for, but I could also see he was very nervous / scared. He's never been in combat like that or killed anyone.
In the months before he left we become even closer than before. He constantly brought up a future and We had plans to move in together When he returned.
He left a month ago and things were good. We had one minor argument about communication and had resolved it.
About a week later ( a week ago now) he called me and suddenly said he had been thinking and said "I don't think I can give you what you deserve" and "our futures are so uncertain and I just don't know if I see it" I was completely blindsided and I asked him what happened to change this after 2 days! He didn't have an answer. He said "it wouldn't be fair to me to wait" and that he'll always love me and cherish our time together. He seemed unemotional, which I'm sure he is trained to do. But it didn't even sound like him. And it seemed so forced.
I don't know what to do. I haven't heard from him Since. I am barely able to eat or sleep I am so upset. So hurt he could do this to me. But also wondering if he did this to "protect me" from what he think may happen to him over there (Middle East) which I know is very dangerous right now. This whole thing is out of character eveyone j have told us shocked. He isn't very close with many people and I am worried about his mental wellbeing and being over there without my support.
Should I wait to hear from him. (will I?) or should I reach out and let him know I care and am here?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well that can go either way. I sort of did the same thing myself when I was in Italy. I called the girl I was w to tell her I couldn't go on w this relationship. It is possible that he is really thinking of you, realizing that he won't see you for months at a time. The possibility of getting killed in war, to protect you from something as devastating as that or maybe he realized that there's a lot of women out there in different countries who love the US military men. I know been through that many times, hitting up a new port every other week. Hundreds of women waiting out on the dock waiting for you to get liberty (time off).

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    • But he's in the Middle East in combat. I can't imagine the girls would be the motive. Not to mention I fully trust him and he has never been that sort of guy at all.

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    • No choice but to move on *

    • I think that's a good plan, lay it out to him. At least he will know how you really feel especially in times when he needs that comfort

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm not sure but I think maybe he chose to end the relationship because he realizes that as long as he is with you he will be filled with nostalgic longing and loneliness thinking about you and he wants to put those distractions aside. The other possibility is that he feels genuinely guilty for not being able to give you the relationship he thinks you deserve when he is away on deployment for so long or feels he will not come back the same person he was when he left. My friend was a soldier in the army and killed 200 people and he saw psychiatrists for almost a decade afterwards. He is now happily married but obese (use to be thin and attractive).

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