(Some background info: me and my boyfriend had been dating for almost three years when this happened and had lived together for almost a year and a half, as well.)
About a month and a half ago, I found out my boyfriend of almost three years was cheating on me by sexting and calling different girls. He was in contact with about 5 or 6 other women... some of that content was explicit, as in they would send him nudes. Some of these women he actually knew in person... Two of them are from the same city as us, and ONE of these women was an old coworker. I broke up with him when I found out, but we continue to live together and he insists over and over that he wants to win me back and love me right this time.
The thing is, talking to him yesterday he finally revealed it wasn't just messages. He kissed his coworker about a year ago, he said. He claims this is "ALL THAT HAPPENED", but I'm skeptical. It's shady that he lied about doing any physical cheating until now...
Going through his phone last night was heartbreaking. He was always hitting her up (usually late at night) about getting together and hanging out, and even though he swears nothing else happened, I have confirmed he left his coat and shirt there once and it took him a while to get his clothes back from her.
It seems weird to me that he kept in contact like that and they only kissed once, because they kept talking throughout the year he was cheating on me.
Am I being crazy in suspecting they fucked?
Also, should I even be considering letting this person back in my life and giving them a second chance?
(sidenote: he deleted all of their contact info but for some reason still hasn't deleted their messages?)
Most Helpful Guy
I don't think that you can trust this guy, he was prepared to deceive you for the longest time rather than to work on anything that was missing in your relationship. Does this suggest to you that you can rely on him to work harder this time? What happens the first time something goes wrong? Will he run off to another woman again?
I do believe that people can change but I don't believe that it happens overnight, I believe that it takes a lot of time and reflection. Just saying that you have changed is meaningless.
Taking him back would be a huge risk. He's not done nearly enough demonstrating that he truly understand the wrong in what he did, nor has he really explained the reasons behind it so you can be sure it won't happen again.2
Most Helpful Girl
Hey chick, what I have to say is something you might not like. If he's cheating behind your back in ANY form and also hides things from you it's obvious he doesn't love you or respect you. If he did he wouldn't do anything like this that would hurt you. Sounds like he's keeping you on to feed his vain ego and losing any women just upsets him. Once a cheat always a cheat. If you stayed with him could you truly trust him and not be bothered everytine he is on his phone and worry about what and who he is doing? Once trust is broken it's very hard to build it back it up again. It's not just the one person he is cheating on you with. I would rid him even humiliate him make other women see how much of a dick he is. You deserve better and shouldn't waste anymore of your time with this arsehole. A real man will respect you, be honest and faithful to you and support you. Your boyfriend is a attention loving slut. Most importantly respect yourself. either way its your choice. Best of luck x0