I knew a girl online for three years, I loved her, and she disappeared. How do I get over the huge pain I have and what do I do to stop obsessing?

When I was in high school, I wrote fanfiction as a hobby. One person reviewed my story and we struck up a conversation. Her username was GummyGal. I won't share her real name. For three years we talked over text to each other. We learned a lot, telling each other our secrets, about ourselves, revealing our feelings, and becoming best friends. She'd create art for me, I'd help her write stories. I reviewed her work and we each helped promote one another. We started a community of people on fanfiction with me writing and her drawing. We had something very special. Everybody in our little community knew we had a thing going. Those days were the best days of my life. I had a girl who I loved, and our relationship was very very special. We even admitted we loved each other. She loved me, and I loved her. We were even starting to make plans to meet each other.

But then, one day, she stopped talking to me. She deleted her fanfiction and her art pages. She deleted everything and left no trace of her old pictures and art on the internet. Everything was gone. Later, I found her on facebook. I messaged her and asked what was going on. But then she blocked me. Later, she left a very cryptic and vague review on one of my stories. She talked about something horrible happening and that she didn't want to associate with anything from her past life. She deleted everything and left me, someone she loved, out to dry. I didn't understand it. I later created a new facebook account to message her again, and she blocked that one.

Now, two years later, the pain feels the same. It's unhealthy I know, but I facebook stalk her and her friends, trying desperately to learn how she's doing. I cry when I think of her. I've stressed out over her and cried many nights over her. I need closure, but I feel that might make the pain worse.

I'm begging anybody who can help to tell me what to do to get over her. I need help. Please, how do I get her off my mind? I've been struggling for years now.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • When you Facebook stalk her, you are only making matters worse for yourself. I know it may be difficult, but you have got to pull away from doing that. You have to accept that she has moved on, no matter how painful it may be for you.

    Start new hobbies, meet new people, go to coffee shops, something. You are not living a normal life and may causing more issues for you long term wise. You may need some help from a counselor.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • As bad as it may seem you should actually learn from it. Word of advice, you meet a girl online that you like at least get her to the "friends zone". Get her name, later her number.

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What Girls Said 1

What Guys Said 2

  • Maybe find a different hobby other than writing, that is completely separate to fanfiction?

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  • Do that would hurt me so bad. I just got out of a break up so I am kind on the same level with you. It sounds like to me that somebody that meant so much to her died. That's the only way I know why she would have done that

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