Is it immature to hold a grudge against a girl that dumped you for a richer and older dude?

The girl I dated casually for a month recently dumped me for an older and richer guy. When we began dating, everything was great but during the last two weeks before I was dumped she lost interest in me. I tried to make it work but it just did not work out.
One night she told me we need to talk. She told me she is looking for a husband and someone to settle with. She claimed I was great but too young for her and that is why it is unfair to continue such a relationship. She added that she is going to be actively looking for a man that is much older than her, wants a family and has a stable job. Fair enough. She concluded with words that when is actively looking, she finds guys very quickly. At that moment I thought she wants to get married ASAP, first come, first serve type of deal. And I was almost right. I felt bad for her. After she dumped me, it did not take a week for her to get together with another guy. That guy is 9-10 years older than I am, a somewhat famous DJ and a CEO of an apartment complex. I can't help but to think that she is a gold digger. All of her previous boyfriends were rich foreign men and this one was not an exception.
In the end I just felt bad for myself that I was dumped and now I can't find a girl. Been dating a few but nothing serious.

Weeks have gone past but I still hold a grudge against her. Am I being immature? The break up itself does not hurt me as much as the fact that she got together with a rich dude so quickly and that she was probably talking to him while we were dating. :( I feel used and worthless. I see her quite often at school and I act neutrally towards her, just greet her and that is it. Sometimes I just want to call her out on being a gold digger but that would be immature and just make things worse.
Some people say I dodged a bullet so I should be happy she is not my problem anymore. What do you think, people? Any advice


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, any and every grudge is immature. It shows that you never loved her. If you did, don't how grudges. Because real mature love doesn't hold them. You may feel used and abused right now, but you need to be better than that. And people who said that you dodged a bullet is right. Because if she can leave you for a richer and older guy, that goes to show you what she is about: using people.

    You don't need somebody like that and is a user. She gave you nothing but excuses!

    Too young for her?: Then why was she with you? Obviously, she doesn't love you.
    looking for a husband?: Full of crap, she had you. What was the excuse? For experience?
    someone to settle with?: Not if she divorces the guy once he signs the papers!

    And this guy is supposed to be a DJ, house complex and what? Gold digger. She wants status and money. She is crazy. Be glad she is gone! Not your problem. You're going to have to detach from her and move on. Find somebody better than her. Just like she likes to replace guys, so can she be easily replaced.

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    • Your comment really soothes my pain. It is probably because I have the same train of thought and it is something I wanted to see if other people think the same. I am already starting to let go of the grudge as it drains me emotionally. I already feel better.
      I do feel used because I put my best effort into making our relationship work. Unfortunately, she did not put as much from her side. I guess it is for the best.

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    • @Asker

      Her preference is mainly older and rich guys right? So what business should she be with you if you don't meet her preference in a guy? That's using a person.

    • Yes, she prefers older guys. I guess she was using me. I am glad it ended sooner than later. Time to move on to better things.

Most Helpful Guy

  • no it´s just dumb. you should be VERY happy that you got rid of her and are now free for a decent girl.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • Yeah, I can understand how you can feel. I like the fact that she told you what she wanted instead of getting "ghost" with you. I would not say she is a gold digger, because honestly I am the same way. I have a preference for a man thats established and settled. And when I meet a guy, and he doesn't seem like that type then I won't contact him anymore, I get ghost. I dont offer explanation. Nothing. And the reason being is because men will call me a gold digger, names and then persuade me to change my mind. Once its made it, then thats that. I see nothing wrong with her doing whats best for her. People these days are looking out for their own desires and what best fits their needs. She doesn't really owe you an explanation. You all were never in a committed relationship to begin with.

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  • You were only dating casually. Did you have any deeper feelings for this girl? Were you hurt because you genuinely liked her and was hurt that she ditched you for another guy? Or was your ego hurt that she dumped you before you could move on from her first? If you truly had feelings for this girl then that's a pretty normal reaction. anyone would be angry and hurt. However if you werent serious about her then you are being immature because you would have dumped her anyway

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    • I had deeper feelings for her and I wanted to move onto a serious relationship but she dumped me. I do feel used and hurt but I am getting better. Time heals.

  • look holding grudges takes years off of you. let it go. because if you hold onto it. your next relationships you subconsciously carry it into them. so release that demon. Just be happy for her and let it be. you'll start elevating emotionally.

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  • Hell no. I would hold the grudge.

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  • nah I would have a grudge to if that happened to me... but we all gotta let go. You may still be in love with her, since you can't stop thinking about her. Just forget about her, it would make things worse, so just let it go~

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What Guys Said 3

  • No but don't go out of hand. She obviously is a gold digger, and you deserve better. Just forget about her completely cause she only cares about the money most likely

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  • I dont think you are immature mate but holding grudge won't help you move on.
    Try somehow to let it go and soon you will forget this gold digger and sooner or latter you will meet someone much nicer. Best of luck mate.

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  • this is what all girls want after certain age dont sweat it

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