My ex boyfriend's mother just died... what can I say to him?

We broke up a few months ago after dating for 6 months. We haven't interacted at all since then because it was a bad break up. I want him to know that i am thinking about him and that i didn't just stop caring about him. He just lost his mother... I'm not trying to make this about me I'm just trying to get my sympathy across to him in an appropriate and heartfelt way that won't cause him more pain.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • My advice would be to not do it. He is your ex, he is not your boyfriend or your responsibility anymore. I know that doesn't mean that you stop caring automatically and I appreciate that you are trying to be kind. However, he already has more than enough emotions to deal with right now and he doesn't need more emotional confusion coming into it. Now is not the time to reach out, he needs time to deal with his grief.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Make sure your motives are strictly about his loss of his Mother. And if they are, and you reach out to him, keep it strictly about being sorry for his loss, and let it be. Please remember, if it was a bad break up- he may have many mixed feelings, and at this time in his life, he just lost probably the most (or one of the most) important people in his life. I am not being mean, don't know your situation, but you could add additional trauma to an already heartbreaking situation. I am not being mean, just make sure to RESPECT him. sometimes we all want to do things, and don't think about the other person so much! I know you are trying to be kind, just tread lightly, Best of Luck

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What Guys Said 7

  • Uh, maybe say "I heard the bad news and I'm sorry for your loss. You have my condolences." or something to that effect. I would NOT suggest asking "is there anything I can do for you?" because thaaaat's a bad idea, probably.

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  • I'll say somehow say it
    you care so say that you care about him and his mom
    breakup need not to be end of human feeling it's just that you are not that much into each other

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  • Dunno why you'd care if it was a bad breakup. Probably "My condolences" will do, assuming he doesn't hate you anymore.

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    • The breakup was bad but I'm not heartless... i still remember his good qualities and what i loved about him. No one should be going through what he must be at this point. I want to remind him that he's not alone and I'm thinking about him

  • Nothing

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  • give your condolences, be professional, wish him the best, and move on.

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  • Take a video of you dancing on his mothers grave and post it on his facebook wall.

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  • Say nothing. He's ancient history.. move on. He will expect a sympathy fuck.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Send him a card.

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