I have figured out how I want to handle the breakup, but now I'm wondering what's a normal time frame for everything?

My ex left me because we would fight a lot. We were together for several years and I just felt comfortable picking fights with him about everything because he was always so nice to me. We had broken up twice before, but each time we felt that maybe if we just "fixed" the problem we would work. Well we still always fought, admittedly I was the instigator. I regret this now and he has taught me that I cannot just treat people however and expect no consequence.

He told me that he "always wants to be in my life as friends" and he said he still wants to be updated with what I'm doing or what's going on as often as I'd like. He said we had to stop the relationship where it was "before things got worse or before we grew to hate each other." He still has his profile photo as me and him, and we have agreed to not talk for at least 1 week. I want is to apologize and explain my view of what happened and the things I want to do to fix myself, for him and for me too.

After this week of no talking, I do plan to just check in and say hi... but from that point on, I am unsure of how to handle it... I want to spend time with him, but I know that right now he really just wants some time to do his own thing. And 1 week off is probably not enough time for us to be able to spend time alone together again without having hurt feelings on either side.

How long should I give this to stay his "friend", keep in touch with him, show him that I am trying to make changes, and basically let each of us do our own things while still staying in each others lives... before I address the chance of trying again? I originally told myself I would wait until after summer because that gives him time to be free, maybe even talk to other people, and of course see what he thinks about getting back together... but in just a few days I've realized that I won't be able to do this for very long.

What is the minimum amount of time I should give him to at least regroup and see me in a different light?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Give it up. It's never worked and never will. It's over permanently and completely and you will not remain friends even if he suggests or agrees to it. But if you want to keep trying to force that square peg in the round hole then knock yourself out

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What Girls Said 1

  • Leave him alone for now. Wait until he reaches out to you.

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