Guys would this bug you? Advice PLEASE?

Hey there! Long story short I'm going on 40 days no contact. I've heard nothing from my ex. He hasn't made it obvious. But I'm pretty sure he's talking to someone new. I want him to know I know and that I am done now. He said he knows he couldn't make me happy because I wanted things he couldn't give like affection and time. He had said he has 0 desire to date anyone else but I just know he's talking to someone. we never had a "goodbye" as he refused so we just one day stopped talking. That was 40'days ago. I'd like to send him a short and sweet text saying "goodbye" and that I am 100% done now that I see he's talking to someone. But I do not want to give off the vibe that I'm still pining for him. If I'm the one to reach out first, even if its to say goodbye, will he think I still want him? Will it bother him because he thinks "why is she even texting me" or will it have some kind of impact? I still love him but we weren't a good fit. I'd try again if he was different but I know he won't change. So should I send the text?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you have decided that it's over and he hasn't contacted you anyway then there is no need or healthy purpose in telling him that it's over. The only purpose that it would serve is for you to try and encourage some kind of response from him. If you're over him you don't need that response, you should just be moving on.

    If you approach him to tell him that it's over you may find that you get nothing at all in return or you may find that he actually just makes you feel worse about the whole situation and you still end up without him anyway. Basically, don't do it. The only reason we are tempted to do this kind of thing is because we feel hurt and want them to feel a little hurt too, or we want to show them how cool we are about things. The thing is, if we have to show them then we're not cool about it, we're still stuck in it.

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What Guys Said 6

  • You should let it be. It just make you seen like he is on your mind. You don't need to give a explanation that your done or any goodbyes. You guys were done once you broke up. There is no impact. He has moved on already.

    If I got a text like that I would laugh and say ok whatever and not respond back and think that she is just saying that to prove to herself she is done but she is not (which is what you are really trying to do for yourself). Just let it go.

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    • I guess I just wanted him to know that I know he's talking to someone. Because this is something he told me Over and over again that he wouldn't do for a very long time. I know he's trying to hide it from me. I guess I wanted that satisfaction

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    • True... I never really thought about it like that. He doesn't owe me anything. But this guy was so bad at effort and now she gets it. sucks! I'm still so trim on whether or not to text him ugh

    • Torn*

  • Don't send him anything else, it just says that you're still hung up on him. If you want to move on to the next, then just leave it behind you, but if you're trying to spark things back up again, then go ahead and give it a try, but if you're right and he is talking to someone else, then you're setting yourself up for failure.

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    • If Channing Tatum dates me I promise i won't text my ex ;)

  • It's not healthy texting him. Just let it go.

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  • Yes it would, just from what you wrote tells everyone you're not done.

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  • I think you should, it showed that you valued him and had the decency and respect to let him know that you're over him and moving on to better things in life. He may think that way, of you trying to initiate conversation again and seeing where it would lead to. But I think it's a good idea to let him know in case he comes out of the blue and tries to get back with you.

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    • This is the struggle. I believe that too, but I kinda don't want to give him the satisfaction because he's done nothing to show he misses me or cares

    • I can see it from your point of view as well, but if you don't want to give him that satisfaction then I would just let it go if I were you. I know you have mixed feelings about him but I think it's time for you to move on and find someone that will appreciate and desire you. I think it's a nice gesture to have thought about messaging him, but you don't need to pour salt in that wound anymore.

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