I need advice on how to cope with loneliness after a breakup?


I moved to NYC a couple of months ago and had been dating a guy I met online, who I really liked/loved. After I realized he was so wrong for me, I decided to walk away from him. Now it has been more than two weeks since the breakup, the feeling of loneliness is eating me alive.

My new job has not started yet for some reason, and I know nobody in this city. I am also the type of girl who is shy to go to bars alone. I also tried to chat with people from dating apps, but the idea of dating is kinda repulsive to me and I cannot pull myself together to go out on a date.

I am not doing well at all. I have no desire to get myself out of the bed in the morning, cannot eat, cannot even watch my favorite shows, and after crying many nights in a row, I cannot even cry any more. I don't speak a word all day, and haven't been out of house for a week now. Most of the time, I lie on bed, feeling miserable and waiting for time to pass.

I feel it is not all about breaking up with the guy. My brain knows so well it is the best decision I could make for myself. Living and working in NYC was something I always wanted, and now I am here, yet I am at the opposite end of happiness.

Any advice for me to get out of this awful feelings? Thank you so much.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not all about breaking up with the guy, you are most likely suffering from depression right now and it has probably been brought about but this dramatic change in your circumstance. Suddenly you are in a new city and you feel detached from everything. You had a lifeline in this guy but now he has gone and you feel utterly alone. It's not surprising that this has been a shock to the system, it probably feels like you've been cast adrift at sea.

    You most likely need to see someone about how you are feeling because the way that you are at the moment is not sustainable. You should see your doctor or see if you can find a therapist in your area. You may benefit from either short term medication, therapy or both.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Id say make some friends at work and go out.
    Is there any possibility of you guys getting back together?

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What Guys Said 5

  • listen this happened to me recently but the feeling didn't last you know why because I sat down and let it all play out in my head and I noticed how my attachment to things is only an illusion. yes the memories remain but you should replace them with new more powerful memories. start out by understanding what went wrong and was right too did you learn something from it all? then tell yourself no more of this nonsense and start thinking at one positive thing every morning. as for dating apps dont use them anymore try having real interactions with people everyday like saying hello to someone walking past you then eventually the memories fade and your view on life starts to clear up again. remove the clouds that are blocking that beautiful sunshine from raining down on you ☺✌

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  • Go to the gym, I'm serious. It's the best therapy for literally anything, you come out looking fantastic and you might just meet new people, or if you do classes of some kind learn something new.

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  • I'm confused on the job aspect.. Have you been in contact with the employer?

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  • I live in NYC. You can use me as a fuck buddy.

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  • Time heals all things just look for something to keep you busy

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What Girls Said 0

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