Guys, What can I do to make things better or did I go too far?

Long story short, I talked to my ex anonymously. It felt nice, because it was like we were actually friends again, as opposed to now, when he does know that it's me, he either goes cold or asks to screw.

Then he started to invite me to his private chats. And that was when I felt like I was in too deep. I thought about just ghosting him, but I didn't want to be rude. So I told him the truth. He seemed to take it well, but then after I told him the truth, he completely ignored me.

I figure that it's because I broke his trust and he's probably very busy, so I figured that I should give him space and I did. What I'm asking is, what else could I do or say to fix this besides leaving him alone? Or is it too late? :( Helllppp.

Updates:
I have two missed calls from him.. I think that I'm going to tell him that I'm sorry, wish him luck and just nottalk to him anymore, because it's clear that he wants someone else, and that he's just using me. But thank you soo much guys for hearing me out and not just telling me "move on, stupid bitch." I appreciate it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've been in MANY relationships, mostly with girls I just liked. I found myself eventually just growing apart, being distant and cold, sometimes basically ignoring those girls I just "liked". I only stayed with them because we were comfortable together. Then I found a girl I actually truly loved. No way in hell that girl would have to pretend to be someone else online to get me to talk to her, or pay attention to her. Even when I get home late from work, I'm wore out, all I want to do is lay down. Even though I don't really want to talk, I'll ask her about her day, just so she knows I still care. That's the best way I know how to answer your question.

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    • So you're basically saying that he's not worth talking to?

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    • Lol, I knew what you meant. And yeah, in the beginning it was absolutely devastating. I was pregnant with his kid too. I think that the only reason why I kept trying to talk to him was because I invested so much into him and that relationship, and that it hurts to see him with someone else.

    • If that's the case then don't look at all the time you invested in him as a total loss. You have to just consider it an experience that you learned from. I'm sure you learned a lot about yourself, like things you thought you liked, turns out you actually don't, and things you didn't think you would like, turns out aren't so bad. However if you know deep down inside that it's not gonna work out, than any time you invest from that point forward, would be a waste of your time, and his... so don't make that mistake.

What Guys Said 12

  • Honestly you need to love yourself more, your ex keeps only wanting you for sex and that's it. So I'll give you two solid options to choose from. Either

    A.) You stop talking to him, forget about him and focus on what makes you happy and focus on what you have to do in life

    B.) Stop talking to him, forget about him and date someone new.

    After doing one of these two things he will see what he no longer has, and with that he will either not care and never talk to you again or he will try to reach out. Either way you benefit because you no longer put yourself in a postition where you will be emotionally damaged by him

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  • technically, you didn't break his trust, you made him feel like a fool. A fool, for falling for you twice? a fool, for not realizing it was you? As to fixing it, it depends largely on why y'all broke up. and if he lied about the reason/doesn't know himself, there's not much you can do

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    • I had a lot of time to reflect on it and yeah, I was a bitch. I kinda shut him out and pushed him into a corner. We broke up because I gave him an ultimatum, that he'd be a father or it's over. He broke up with me because I didn't trust him (I went crazy pregnant bitch and looked at his Facebook messages and freaked out) and because I was being insecure (and I realized after it all that I really was.)
      I don't think he knows himself because he's been very hot and cold, even with mutual friends and family.
      I just find it important that we are on a talking basis, at the very least, because I still had a child with him.

    • So, he said he would stick around, to be a dad, not a husband, and you let jealousy creep in. pretty common. Maybe he thought that being a dad didn't necessarily mean being a husband to you? Hopefully, his being 'hot and cold' is in reference to wanting to be in his child's life. Your hormone induced behavior is quite normal, and he just wasn't ready to grow up. He may never be. Have you two talked since the situation online?

    • No, we haven't. I have tried calling him once a couple days ago, but he didn't answer.

  • He thinks your crazy, and a liar. Your better off learning from this and moving on

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  • Apologise and try your best to prove you feel bad. I'm not saying beg for forgiveness. Just say something like, "I'm sorry I did this to you and I can understand if you want me to leave you alone. so I will just say this, I feel horrible and sad but I felt like I just wanted to go back to being at least friends with you. So I'm sorry thank you for reading and goodbye, I will leave you alone to think if I'm worth forgiving." Then just keep your distance and wait to see if they forgive you if not then I apologise for giving bad advice.

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  • Well you did something you SHOULDN'T do at all. You broke his trust, completely. I will do the same if you did that to me in same scenario. I mean why the hell he should be played like that? Girl or boy, nobody should be played like that. Just leave him alone. You may apologise him but if he doesn't

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  • Talk to him in person. Things never work out over the internet. Tell him how you feel and if he won't take you back then it wasn't meant to be

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  • Just find someone else. Exes usually came to be that way for a reason (s). If I were him I'd be totally pissed (again, in addition to whatever made us split up).

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  • There is no help.. He's your ex. Find a new guy!

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  • ex's are ex's for a reason. walk away

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  • Who broke up with who? It sounds like he's checking out.

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  • My takes could be of great help.

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  • I think you should find a guy who actually knows how amazing you are !

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