Need some advice and feeling pretty low atm if anyone has an opinion?

So my boyfriend broke up with me today but he told me the reason was because he has discovered he isn't relationship material and told me i deserve better than what he can give me and he doesn't want to jeopardize my uni studies. he told me his feelings haven't changed and he honestly cared nor ever cheated once but only feels he can be alone and can't do a relationship coz he's just not a people person. but i still love him and he still wants us to go back to friends because he doesn't wanna lose contact. He says we rushed the relationship and he tried to make it last and tried to make it work but its not, maybe one day we may get back togther but i don't know what do i do.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hm, well if he's willing to talk with you about it further, maybe tell him that now that he's shared with you about how he is and what he's going to be bringing to the relationship, that you're willing to accept this and would still like to continue a relationship with him and see where things can truly go. Of course this is only if you do accept the situation?

    But why not remain friends if you can handle it. It seems like you were friends first, so going back should be ok. Especially if you still love him as a person and what he brought to your life friendship and relationship wise.

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    • I do it just really hurts, i have been invited to his mums 50th on new years eve and she doesn't know we split tonight so its gonna be hard to see him but do you think its possible to go back to being friends?

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    • I know TIME is the most lamest and cliche answer you'll ever hear, and I hated hearing it. But ultimately it's what it came down to, time and just getting use to your reality.

      I do hope it works out for you though, and it gets easier as you guys try to remain friends.

    • Thank you

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What Guys Said 2

  • It sounds to me like he is recognising his own selfish impulses and has decided that they are too strong to suppress. He wants to do his own thing, he lacks the emotional energy to be able to give enough of it to you. Maybe he even wants to see other girls, despite what he says.

    Either way, it is what it is. He has made a decision and you have to find a way to accept it. He has offered a friendship but when he has already admitted that he can't dedicate time to people then how much time do you think he will dedicate to a friendship? You would be far better off breaking away from contact with him so that you are able to accept what has happened and get over him.

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    • We had been together almost half a year and live 2 hrs away from eachother so it was difficult to dedicate time more than a few times a month but we talked every day till he realised it wasn't working for him and he started to distance himself in conversation. But I can't wrap my head around it, im an overthinker and my brain keeps telling me that i did something wrong that its my fault, i know its not but it hurts and i don't know how to make the pain go away, i have noone to tell about my break up coz my family will judge instead of comfort me

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    • Of course it hurts, it's meant to. That's your first point of acceptance. Accept that pain is here for a reason, it is not your body tearing itself apart, it is your body mending itself. It feels like crap but that doesn't meant that you should run from it. It won't kill you, it will fix you. It is temporary. Remember all of these things when you feel lost and overwhelmed.

    • Thanks for the support

  • i'm sorry, but he unintentionally lied to you and himself. if he says that, it means he's not attracted to you enough and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. all you can do is to respect his decision (because i think it was the right thing to do) and start looking for other guys.

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    • We'd been together almost half a year, its hard to think of it like that

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